You are not broken without repair.

What if I told you your brain is moldable like clay? That when you’re young, it’s fresh clay - it’s kinda easy to form your thoughts and beliefs with a little kneading. As you age, it hardens, making it more difficult to work the clay. You have to put in more effort to get the result you want.

Well, it’s a pretty apt comparison. Experts call it neuroplasticity, the brain’s ability to modify, change, and adapt both structure and function throughout life and in response to experience (Voss, Patrice, et al). This means as you learn new habits, your brain is [i]literally[/i] strengthening or weakening your synaptic connections.

I first learned about neuroplasticity at the beginning of my sobriety journey. To reframe your brain, you have to train it. My therapist later used a rock to visualize the concept. Each time you ignore an urge or decide to participate in a healthy habit, a new path is eroded in the rock. Slowly, over time as the erosion/weathering works and you fight your bad habits and begin your good habits, you feel better too and it becomes easier to do what you want to do.

For example, to break an addiction, you have to overcome the urges. Each time an urge is fought through, the brain learns to want that addiction less (alcohol, gambling, smoking, DEPRESSION - I would dare say some of us are addicted to our depression because I was addicted to mine).

It is work. It is not easy. It is so, so worth it. If you want something, fight for it. You deserve good things because you’re a person who is alive. You are worth it.

Here are the small things I did at the beginning of my Brain Training to set myself up for success.

1. Affirmations - I think affirmations have been the best thing for me personally. I am a verbal person who needs reminders because without them, I forget. My favorite affirmation has been “I put on my smile to shine through the darkness.” This is a specific affirmation though, one I created for myself. Some good ones to start out with:

- I am enough.
- Today, I will work through my challenges.
- Everyday is a fresh start.

I highly recommend just standing in front of a mirror and saying these three times a day to yourself. It is so easy and feels silly, but the power of positive thinking is incredible. When I was depressed, I rolled my eyes at this. Please give it a try. Be your own friend and cheerleader. You’ll need it for 2.

2. Physical activity - You do not have to become CrossFit Jesus, you don’t even have to walk around the block, you just need to STRETCH! Take a deep breath. I love the breathing rainbow, personally. If you are able, try going to the front door of your house, or to the end of your driveway. If you’re incapacitated in some way, there are many seated stretches on YouTube.

3. Take care of something other than yourself, but tie it to yourself - When you’re depressed, generally you aren’t going to care if YOU get the things you need. But what about a dog? What about a bird on an app? I get out of the house at least once a day now because I have a dog, but she pushes me to be even better. We go on walks! I didn’t really walk on my own, but she needs them. She needs to potty and I’ve gotta take her. It’s a win-win. By attributing your needs to something else, YOU don’t have to take up as much of your mental load. I know when I was depressed, I did not care if I even got up to go to the bathroom. Now, my dog makes me. A dog isn’t doable for everyone, but I’m sure you can find your thing if you think about it.

Neuroplasticity taught me that I wasn’t stuck, I was just in a pattern. And patterns can change. It didn’t happen overnight, and it didn’t happen without effort. But little by little, with affirmations, movement, and something outside myself to care about, I started reshaping the clay.

If there’s one thing I want you to take from this, it’s that your brain is not your enemy. It’s a tool, and you can retrain it with compassion, persistence, and patience. You don’t have to do everything at once. Start small. Say a kind word to yourself. Take a breath. Stretch. Feed the bird on the app. Walk to the mailbox. Every step you take is a signal to your brain: we are changing.

And you can. You really can. You’re not weak for struggling, you’re strong for staying. Now it’s time to fight for the life you want. The clay is still soft enough.