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Amazing Pants Attachment!
Avatar By MidnightSkylight
Posted 12 Mar 2018 19:54
Category: Educational
Did you know that your pants Have a zipper? Well buckaroo, they do. No more worrying about your fly being open. No, we don't care that you're wearing zebra print underduds big whoop, pal.

With new and improved carbon fiber zippers, us here at Ziptech ensure that our zippers can stop a bullet (if by chance its a pellet from a bb gun). We hope that our new tech will keep your pants high and dry. Yes sirry, we have a new line of zippers of all kinds.

Dont want that heavy carbon fiber? Hate pinching unmentionables in the zipper? Dont worry! We got rubber zippers. Now all you have to worry about is that new middle school game where they'll stretch your zipper and let go. Lucky for you, we have another safety precaution.

Introducing the wooden zipper! Stranded? Need a boat? Wood floats! Just take off your pants and toss them in the river. Ziptech takes no responsibility for loss or damage of $50 pants.

So if you need a zipper capable of any preference, call us at 1-800-NOPE. Ziptech is not responsible for any loss of hearing, death, super diarrhea, or spontaneous combustion. Order now!
Featured: Yes (Luisjo96)
+6 -0
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Avatar GEMini GUARDian
17 Mar 2018 04:51
Got any custom print zippers? I've been looking for some.
Avatar Rlad116
17 Mar 2018 18:19
In reply to GEMini GUARDian
They're zebra style
Avatar Rlad116
13 Mar 2018 22:53
Almost as good as the Boring company's flamethrower
Avatar FiNrOd
13 Mar 2018 14:21
How much is the zipper by itself?
Avatar MidnightSkylight
13 Mar 2018 14:42
In reply to FiNrOd
Only $15.99
Avatar Luisjo96
12 Mar 2018 21:38
When will we be getting the aerodynamic aluminium version?
being able to open them at ultra fast speeds would save so many people, always wanted those.
Avatar MidnightSkylight
12 Mar 2018 21:41
In reply to Luisjo96
That's our 2019 introduction model. Still in the works due to some unfortunate loss of extremities.
Avatar Luisjo96
12 Mar 2018 21:45
In reply to MidnightSkylight
Jesus christ, that's a shame xD
Avatar MidnightSkylight
12 Mar 2018 21:46
In reply to Luisjo96
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