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The Glorious Grey Matter - Chapter 1: Welcome to New York
Avatar By Thi500
Posted 15 Jul 2018 07:02
Category: Short Story
Each day began the same; with a sharp ring, and a yell from an old woman for breakfast.

A young sophomore slapped the top of the alarm clock. “Right... Monday...”

“Chris, I’m not going to tell you again.” The old woman yelled. “Breakfast, dear.”

“Yeah, coming grandma...” Chris struggled out of bed, out of his room, and down a flight of stairs. A plate of eggs and bacon were awaiting him.

The elder walked back into the dining room from the apartment complex hallway.
“Oh, dear...” she whispered with shock in her face.

“What’s wrong?” Chris asked, concerned.

“Oh, nothing. Don’t worry about it.”

“Saying that only makes me worry more.” Chris walked up to his grandmother. “Tell me what the problem is.”

“Well...” the elderly woman showed Chris the paper she had. “We’re going to have a bit of trouble paying bills... My income hasn’t been great, darling.”

“I see...” Chris sighed. “After school, I’m going job hunting, alright?”

“Oh, heavens no!” Chris’s grandma cried. “I’ll make ends meet. You don’t want to waste the rest of your youth working, do you?”

“For you, anything.” Chris hugged his grandmother. “I’m off.” Chris walked out into the apartment complex hallway, down another flight of stairs, and out into the streets of Brooklyn.

New York City. The Big Apple. The Concrete Jungle. The home of Christopher Richardson, a sophomore in high school with an exciting life of adventure ahead of him. The blonde, shoulder-length haired boy goes on the same subway, to the same school, deals with the same people, day after day, with no end in sight.

Chris entered the subway car that he would take to school. A man in a lab coat, seemingly a scientist, was talking on the phone as he exited the train car. Chris decided to take his now open seat. Beside him sat a quartz looking crystal, that the scientist had left behind. Before Chris had a chance to call after him, the scientist had already left. Chris shrugged, and kept ahold of the quartz, in hopes of finding the scientist again.

Chris arrived at his school, and met up with his two best friends, Ivy, a shy, but smart young girl, and Aiden, a hype lad with a ego the size of the city itself.

“Yo, Chris!” Aiden called. “You check out that new Magic expansion yet?”

“Nah, I haven’t.” Chris replied. “I haven’t had the time, my teacher’s gonna kill me if I don’t get my grades up.”

“Well,” Aiden continued. “I’m gonna build a new deck out of these new cards. Check ‘em out!”

Ivy approached from the background silently and meekly. She wouldn’t dare interrupt the boys’ nerd talk.

“...and I can sacrifice it to add three forests to my mana pool, which leads to this broken combo...”

“H-Hey, guys...” the shy, short brunette with glasses finally spoke.

“Oh, hey Ivy.” Chris turned to her. “You look nice today.”

Ivy smiled. “Haha... don’t say that.”

Just then, a cup of soda flew behind Chris, and hit him in the back of the head. In shock, Chris turned around to see a laughing football jock. Chris scowled at him.

“Aw, is Chrissy-Whissy angry at me again?” The jock laughed again.

“Leave him alone, Chad.” Aiden stepped up towards him.

“Pff, whatever. Keep being a white knight.” Chad walked away.

“You know, I can stand up for myself.” Chris remarked.

“Uh, you’re welcome?” Aiden responded.

The bell rang. The students began to pile inside.

“Listen, I’ll see you later, buddy.” Aiden walked inside. Chris and Ivy just stood there awkwardly.

“It’s okay, Chris. We all get jerks like that.” Ivy looks around her to see popular girls laughing as well, probably about Ivy.

“Hey, it’s the price we pay for being ourselves, huh?” Chris smiled. Ivy smiled back at him.

The two walked inside the school together.

Geometry class. The worst period of the day. Math was Chris’s biggest weak point in school. Not to mention Chad would always sit right behind him, and mess with him the whole class. But this period was different. Chris fumbled with the quartz from earlier. It felt warmer than usual. Chris looked at it under his desk. The quartz began to glow! In shock, the boy dropped it.

“Richardson!” The teacher yelled. The class all giggled. “Put your phone away, please.”

“Oh, sorry, sir.” Chris said back. He quickly grabbed the gem and put it in his pocket... keeping the glow in his mind as he endured the rest of the school day.

Once prison got out, Chris hurried home. He had to know more about this quartz. Once in his room, Chris pulled out his microscope he often used for homework, and wrote down different observations. The structure of the crystal looked almost alive. The particles inside it seemed to always be active. It was fascinating to him.

Before Chris knew it, it was already midnight. A thunderstorm had begun. Chris was fast asleep at his desk, still working at the quartz. Lighting struck the apartment complex, and the power went out... but the gem glowed even brighter than before. The sudden shock woke a sleepy Chris. He stared at the gem in awe... he went to touch it. Upon impact, his hand began to feel like rubber, like he could extend it as far his own eyes can see. Chris jolted back at this sudden realization, and knocked the gemstone away. It landed in his school bag.

“What the hell is that..?” Chris asked himself.

Whatever it was, would shape his future forever.
Featured: Yes (oswaldo123)
+6 -0
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Avatar TNL2019
16 Aug 2018 21:21
Avatar GEMini GUARDian
15 Jul 2018 18:58
Well, this is a good beginning yes. But there are a few weird moments where it feels rushed or not explained in enough detail, such as when Chris touched the quartz and his hand felt like rubber. Did he touch his hand with his other? What does it mean that his hand suddenly felt like rubber? Or during the subway ride, you could have inserted some backstory instead of skipping right to when he gets to school.

A bit of the dialogue also feels a little off, or maybe just bland? I dunno, it feels cliché to me. The dynamics between characters could be improved in future parts.

These may be just nitpicks of mine, but hey, there's always room to improve.
Avatar oswaldo123
17 Jul 2018 07:49
In reply to GEMini GUARDian
Re-reading this part again, yeah that thing with the bully is pretty cheeseyyy
Avatar FiNrOd
17 Jul 2018 01:13
In reply to GEMini GUARDian
Actually what i said about previous stories in the past.
Avatar MIMtheHERO
15 Jul 2018 08:59
As always, this is the best!
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