-something very concerning happened By cakegaming

By @cakegaming
POSTED: 25 Jun 2024 02:31
CATEGORY: Current Events
FEATURED: Yes (@Draconid_Jo)
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(Warning This blog contains talk of Suicide , you have been warned)

-Today..today has been very deppresing. It took us an hour to get out of bed ; thats how its been since summer started..

-we didn't do very much , just played TrailMakers and Alfronzo. Today however it was hard to enjoy the games. this feeling of lose hung over me then , as well as now. It set in that everything I wanted to do , is lost , gone. I really wanted to work on my YT channel this summer , reach 100 subs ; but that dream has been cut , its impossible at the moment.

-this part is really why im writing this blog ; this next part will be talking about suicidal thoughts.
-I wrote a message to a friend on here at 7:59pm. In it I discribe my suicidal thoughts ; of wanting to strangle myself with a bike lock , and how seeing nerf guns makes me want to blow my brains out. I could never thou as I cant kill Milly or Tagatha , they don't want to die..It got worse.

-then at 8:38pm I wrote another. this thing , it started to talk through me , saying the suffering could end if I just do it. It then bottled me up , hid me from the others , and tried to foul them that it was really me. I couldn't do anything to stop it , I tried to fight it but every time my words got out , the seal got tighter and tighter till I couldn't get out anymore. I was powerless to do anything ; all I could do was watched as it lied to Milly , saying it was me.

-Milly and I however , we share a bond ; she can feel my emotions , she could tell almost imeditly that something was wrong. It finaly let me out. It said it was a manifestation of my self harm and suicidal thoughts ; it asked me if I wanted to die , I said no , it then asked if I was lying , I said with everything going on it has been real hard. Then it vanished. Gone like the wind.

+9 -0

ROSEBLOODSTONE
22 Sep 2024 17:02

i attempted to kill myself multiple times.

isaiahxdd
30 Jul 2024 04:04

this happens to me to

cakegaming
14 Aug 2024 03:00
In reply to isaiahxdd

-wait , u are multiple people to? or am i just reading this wrong?

isaiahxdd
17 Aug 2024 15:24
In reply to cakegaming

Yeah kind of

cakegaming
17 Aug 2024 15:26
In reply to isaiahxdd

--oki

noobishpro
29 Jul 2024 05:51

bro i get it

Mexican_man
27 Jul 2024 05:28

i know how that feels, i had suicidal thoughts too.i almost killed myself in that mentil state. so i say talk to people about it don't bottle it up that how i almost killed myself.

GuiedGui
25 Jun 2024 13:35

Are you alright? Is this something that you'd like me to sticky at the top of the blogs page?

I feel like this is something that I'd prefer to talk out one-on-one instead, so if you'd like to do that, I'm almost always here to talk anything out.

Draconid_Jo
26 Jun 2024 03:43
In reply to GuiedGui

Just got blogmin powers back BTW, and I agree completely.

If I thought that by featuring that they could get some help and support from the community that might make a positive impact on them I'd feature this without hesitation, but IDK that that's how it turn out, since it's unclear to me what exactly it is that's bothering this person.
(It doesn't sound like the sort of depression that I myself gave struggled with exactly.)

cakegaming
26 Jun 2024 05:05
In reply to Draconid_Jo

-it might be depression , but its probably more so DiD. thought we arnt diagnosised with DiD we do show signs. You see what happened is due to the suicidal thoughts I fractured for a 3rd time , making Alaster ; you see Alaster born from these thoughts was trying to help , just went about it the wrong way.

-if youre wondering DiD is basically where the mind shatters to try and remove the trauma , or to help the person with exstreame stressful events , which makes another person , aka an alter. now in our case we live in the same body at the same time ; but it isnt the same for every plural person , each system is different..sry for info dumping , also you should definitely do youre own research on this as we don't really know that much ; mainly know from personal exsperences and whatt the friend thats been helping us has told us.

{oh flop , you just wanted to exsplain what was happening ; no need to apologize.

-right..oh this is Milly , they're a sweet and kind bean. I'd suggest going to our profile and looking at our bio for more info on all of us.

Draconid_Jo
26 Jun 2024 05:18
In reply to cakegaming

Alright, although it's kinda late for me here (I'm in the US), I'll probably look into this more in the morning.

In your opinion, do you think that hearing uplifting and supportive words from the community here might help?
(If so, I'll go ahead and feature this, as the community here has helped me with my problems a great deal.)

cakegaming
26 Jun 2024 05:22
In reply to Draconid_Jo

-yeah , I think that would definitely help us

cakegaming
25 Jun 2024 16:45
In reply to GuiedGui

-were alright , everyone was shaken up by what happened. After it vanished the suicidal thoughts vanished , as if it took them with it. The friend weve been messageing about this exsplained that some alters have very specific roles , and this one seems to be holding these thoughts when they become to much. In a strange way , I think it was trying to help me , just went about it wrong

-something very concerning happened

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