In this cold world, where we all are just here, for what purpose and for what reason? Why am I asking these things? Well, it's because I am lost. I can make up simple things without being scared. if I say something. I am scared to be left behind I am scared to die I am scared to even fucking live too! it's just so fucking stupid I can't even decide to even live BUT YET HERE I AM MAKING THIS STUPID BLOG. I don't even know ok I just want to find love then I am fearful that I might hurt them then I am fearful that I might others then I realize that I already have hurt ppl, my friends, my family, my classmates, every person I have met I have hurt, even if it may seem small like if I miss spell something or I forget to puy honey instead of sugar for my gram gram I just dislike my miss Perfection I don't want ppl to read my blogs and think "oh this blog was a shitty mess I dislike it" or "this kid is a shitty author" I know many of you have told me I was a good writer and I for some reason I don't believe you. I just want to be able to believe people and be very gullible and happy. why you may ask well it's because life is easier like that. I am not looking for words of encouragement. but I am looking for peace in my brain and my stupid overthinking mindset. once again thx for taking the time to read this