note: the bad grammar and spelling and stuff are intentional. it may not get featered cus of that, so.. sorry





ok here it goes

i cant brethe right rn
like the way the words wont fit in my head
its all too loud but quietttt
like whispers SCREAMING at me

u srewed up again didnt u?
hurt them hurt urself hurrrt hurrrrrt hurttt
the loop dont stop!!!

im bad im bad im bad. i said sorry but
does sorry ever fix it? no no no.
a band-aid for a cut that wont
even heal, wont evven scab over

i try. i swear i try but
what if im not ENOUGH like
what if evryone knows what i know?
that im just... wrong.

good people dont do what i did,
dont think what i think, dont feel like this.
they smile. they laugh. they don’t
stay up at night hearing their own brain
like a broken record, skipping, breaking—

why can’t i STOP THIS STOP IT
it’s like a storm in my head,
rain rain rain and it NEVER CLEARS
just thunder, just chaos, just ME.

and then it starts SPINNING spinning SPINNING
badbadbadbadBADBADBADBADBAD
STOP THINKING STOP THINKING STOP THINKING
but it WONT it NEVER DOES

why did i do that?
why am i like this?
why can’t i fix this?
why do i keep hurting them, hurting ME?

WHY CANT I FIX THIS FIX THIS FIX THIS FIX THIS
WHY
WHY
WHY

IHATEEW TRHISALLLSTOPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!
STOP STOP STOP STOP STOPSTOPSTOPSTOPSTOP
WHYwont it END END END MAKE IT STOPPLEASE MAKE IT STOP
my head my chest my brain my EVERYTHING
too LOUD too much too too TOO MUCH

i just want it to be quiet.
just want to be ok.
just want to be...
......
someone else.