I'm not the person who writes down all their feelings, but MAN do I need to let some out...
Im sorry to anybody who reads this, so i'll leave some tags here:
TRIGGER WARNING: This blog WILL contain Suicidal Thoughts and other triggering topics.
So for the past couple of weeks, I have tried to do good, but always got something wrong
I REALLY understand that I keep doing them, but sometimes I just want to be left alone, let the thing happen or I think about SH
I've been feeling insanely Anxious and it built up so much that I can't stop thinking Suicidal Thoughts. That is not a joke.
I was too curious, I tried to explain. I wanted to leave things on and even suggested that i'd bring the power draw down.
I legit can't hold it in anymore, and I don't know who to talk to. You are seeing the side of me that's never shown, I gravely apologize for this.
I really don't know if I belong in this world, I can't tell anymore.
I am upset. I don't know who to talk to, I don't want to bring this up to ANYBODY. Not even Faiza or my closest relatives.
For these words to be even spoken and kept here, is a miracle to some.
I am upset.
I don't want to be left alone. I can't handle it, and going away to Arizona for a month (July) stresses me out enough. I just want to be comforted and loved, but I can't tell if I am anymore. I want to try, and be better. But I fail. Over and over and over again.
I'm crying now. Yes I am. While writing. Real tears.
I don't like where the world is heading. I can't handle it. Please.
Someone just release me from this world already.
Please.
I am so sorry for anybody who read this. Really sorry.
And no, this blog will not be submitted to be featured, and isn't drafted
As someone who's struggled with depression and thoughts of suicide myself for over 2 decades now, I can relate to a lot of what you're saying here.
I can say with absolute certainty that you do belong in this world, and you have become one of the few people in this world who it is hard for me to imagine my life without you, and IK that Faiza and many others here feel the same way.
Yes, the world is quickly turning to shit, but we survived 4 years of Trump once before, and despite how bad things might be RN, we will be able to do so again. (And as much as he might think that he does, Trump doesn't rule the entire world.)
Please keep holding onto the happiness in your life. Do it not just for yourself, but also for Faiza, for me, for DC, and for all of the people here on Paint and on the 3DSiPaint Discord served who care about you. (And although it goes without saying, I will be praying for you.)
@JinxCade
11 Apr 2025 12:55
In reply to Draconid_Jo
Alright
I just got very upset yesterday, that's all
@Draconid_Jo
12 Apr 2025 00:45
In reply to JinxCade
I'm glad that you're feeling better now though. (You are feeling better now, right?)
@JinxCade
12 Apr 2025 13:22
In reply to Draconid_Jo
Yes
@Draconid_Jo
12 Apr 2025 22:21
In reply to JinxCade
@Draconid_Jo
@JinxCade
