To the one I owe the most and hurt the deepest
you probably know who you are.. :/

There’s so much I wish I could take back—so many ways I wish I had been different. I’m sorry for the times I was strange or said things that only caused more confusion. For the attention-seeking moments, the restless energy I couldn’t contain. You deserved calm and honesty, but I gave you noise and uncertainty. For that, I am truly sorry.

I also have to be honest about something heavier—something that changed everything between us. The person I betrayed your trust with had been gone since July. For months, I thought they wouldn’t come back. That absence made me believe I had time, or maybe even permission, to make choices I should never have made. But none of that makes it okay. None of it excuses how deeply I hurt you.

I know I broke something precious. I betrayed not just your trust, but the faith I had in myself to do better. And even now, knowing how much damage was done, I feel the weight of that mistake every single day.

Change isn’t easy. Real growth means facing the hardest parts of who I’ve been and choosing to become better, even when it’s painful. I want you to know I am trying—trying to be someone who can hold truth, someone who respects what we had, even if it’s no longer what we wanted.

I know you didn’t want me to write another apology. I know you want to forget all of this, to move on without me reopening old wounds or reminding you of the pain. But even though you didn’t want to hear it again, I feel obligated to show you just how sorry I am. Not because I want to make things right or ask for forgiveness, but because you deserve to know the depth of my regret. You deserve to see that I am aware of how much I hurt you, and that I carry that with me every day. I hope this shows, in some way, that I’m committed to change—not just in words, but in who I’m becoming.

Thank you for the time and care you gave me. Thank you for the moments of patience and kindness that I took for granted. I hope you find the happiness and peace that I couldn’t give you, and that life leads you to brighter places.

To put this simpler...
I’m sorry for how weird I acted at times.

I’m sorry for the things I said that hurt or confused you.

I’m sorry for the attention-seeking moments that added noise instead of calm.

I’m sorry for not being the person you deserved.

I’m sorry for betraying your trust.

I’m sorry for backstabbing the trust you placed in me.

I’m sorry for taking your love for granted when I should have treasured it most.

I’m sorry for letting someone else cross the line I promised I never would.

I’m sorry for breaking the unspoken bond we shared, even when it felt like no one was watching.

I’m sorry for breaking the faith you had in me.

I’m sorry for the silence I left you with, instead of answers.

I’m sorry for making choices that caused pain instead of healing.

I’m sorry for taking your patience and kindness for granted.

I’m sorry for failing to be honest when it mattered most.

I’m sorry for the times I didn’t listen or understand.

I’m sorry for the doubt and hurt I created between us.

I’m sorry for any moments where I made you question my care.

I’m sorry for the selfishness I showed when I should have been thinking of you.

I’m sorry for all the ways I let you down.

I’m sorry for not being stronger when I needed to be.

I’m sorry for the part I played in damaging what we had.

I’m sorry for not learning sooner from my mistakes.

I’m sorry for causing you to doubt what was real between us.

I’m sorry for any lingering pain my actions continue to cause.

And if silence is all that remains between us, then please let this stand as my final promise: I am sorry, truly and deeply, and I will carry that truth with me as I try to be better every day.