Purely for comedy purposes, of course.

PART ONE - So now ya got zombies, huh?
Zombies usually occur when you least expect them. Let`s take the Farlingtons for an example. They are a regular family, but one morning, the sister of the family is not there for breakfast. The Farlingtons are confused, but continue eating breakfast without her. Suddenly, Sister runs into the kitchen and tells the family something strange is going on outside. The family looks through the window, and... OH NOES! Zombies are on the prowl.

PART TWO - What are zombies?
Look at them. The walking dead. The communist product of tampering with forbidden science and opposing democracy. Zombies are slow, undoubtedly. But they have massive strength, and are immune to most forms of bodily harm. The Zombie Virus first originated in Russia, home of communism. Scientists in secret underground labs discovered something; a form of gas that mutated human tissue, killing it. But it didn`t stay dead. The virus reanimated the flesh, decaying it but yet keeping it incredibly strong and powerful. The virus was then packed into special pods and transported via airplane to America, where the pods were dropped and the virus spread. Zombies were born.

PART THREE - Caught unprepared
While every family should have a high-caliber gun, those caught unprepared should know the proper survival tactics. For instance, you are in the kitchen and your handgun has run out of ammo while fending off the beasts. One lone zombie remains. You could start punching or kicking at the zombie, but the risk of being bitten would be too great. You could also grab the kitchen knife. Piercing objects, while good for stabbing at commies, do not do much good against the walking dead. There is a pack of oranges next to the fridge. You could use the pack as a club, but the post-war kitchen proves too small to swing properly.

I`ll explain the rest in part two. I`m out of room to type!