It was now November. I had put my heart and soul into practicing this time. Oh, I had tried hard at district. I practiced a lot, I did good. But at state, my pieces had to have everything perfect. Which isn't an easy thing to accomplish.
Now I was looking for anything i could improve on. On my Arabesque, the district judge had proclaimed it perfect, but I could find a million things to work on. My sonatina was almost as good, but still there were things to improve. Dynamics, touch, feel- everything could be done better. EVERYTHING.
Then the Saturday came. I got everything ready and my teacher arrived at 12:30 p.m. so we could get to Kansas City by 5:00 p.m.
I was excited. This time I had convinced myself to the truth that I would NOT place, but I would have a wonderful experience. I was happy not placing!
We arrived at Murphy Hall around 3:00 p.m. and hung around until my turn. I was shaking and sweating. I wanted to do good even if I wasn't going to place.
I played my pieces, and I played them PERFECTLY. PERFECTLY! I was so happy my work had paid off and I hadn't made the smallest mistake! The judge thanked me and said it was a joy to hear me play. I smiled and nodded and then left the room.
We had wait till 6:00 p.m. for the awards, and I sat in a chair waiting when I spotted the trophies shining on a table in front of me.
I gulped back a sob. What was I thinking?! OF COURSE I WANTED TO PLACE! I WANTED TO WIN!
I fought back tears. I stared at the golden trophies, the one for first of my group was the biggest.
"1st gets $2,500 and gets to go to national," I thought. I suddenly sat up straight. If God wanted me to place, I'd place. And if God wanted me to win, I'd win.