And so, between 14 Billion and 9,000 years ago, some deity(ies) exploded the Big Bang, creating everything.
Evolution happened with life because Darwin said so, and things haven't changed because thats what Republicans say. This leads to a problem, because both cant be right unless things evolved and then stopped evolving 9,000 years ago, which makes sense.
Eventually, man was created, and found fire, ending the Stoned Age, where they looked under rocks for food. Soon, civilizashuns arose in Messypotamia, Ancient Egypt, and China.
Messypotamia was founded in the middle of Iraq, which is why it isnt there today. This place created Babylon, a tower with floating gardens.
Egypt had faroes and queens, who ruled over the sad lot who were forced to build giant triangles in the desert. However, everyone left and followed Moses to Canada, the promised land of milk and honey. This left Cleopatra alone and ready to be hammered by Rome.
China was China all the time, and never changed, except that the population blew up all the time, Mongrels invaded, and rice became staples.
Soon, new countries would rise and conquer everyone.