1. Save the whales. Collect the whole set.

2. A day without the sun is night.

3.Corduroy Pillows: They're making headlines.

4. Life is too complicated in the morning.

5. Nobody's perfect, trust me, i'm nobody.

6. Ask me about my vow of silence.

7. I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not sure.

8. I can handle pain until it hurts.

9. No matter where you go, you're there.

10. If everything is coming your way, then you're in the wrong lane.

11. It's been Monday all week.

12. Gravity will aways get me down.

13. This statement is false.

14. Eschew obfuscation.

15. They told me i was gullible...and I believed them.

16. It's bad luck to be superstitious.

17. According to my best recollection, I don't remember.

18. The word “gullible” isn't in the dictionary.

19. Honk if you like peace...and quiet.

20. The Big Bang Theory: God spoke and BANG! it happened.

21. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

22. Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?

23. Who are “They” and why do people listen to them?

24. My mind is like a steel trap, rusty and illegal in 37 states.

25. Nothing is fool proof to a sufficiently talented fool.

26. On the other hand, you have more fingers.

27. I've only been wrong once, and that's when i thought i was wrong.

28. God made mankind. Sin made him evil.

29. I don't find it hard to meet expenses. They're everywhere.

30. I just let my mind wander, and it didn't come back.

31. Don't steal. The government hates competition.

32. Humpty Dumpty was pushed.

33. National Atheist's Day: April 1st.

34. All generalizations are false.

35. The more people i meet, the more i like my dog.

36. Work is for people who don't know how to fish.

37. If you don't like the news, go out and make some.

38. For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism.

39. IRS: We've got what it takes to take what you've got.