Most Manly Ways to Win By PORKStheMEATofKINGS

By @PORKStheMEATofKINGS
POSTED: 06 Feb 2010 12:58
CATEGORY: Gaming
FEATURED: Yes (@HullBreach Premium64

I'll give you the MOST MANLY WAYS to win at video games, one for each genre. Actually, 1 for each of the 4-5 genres I'm thinking of. Think you're good at games? Well how MANLY are you at them?

Genre: FPS

REAL MEN FIGHT WITH FISTS. Put that gun away, and throw them some knuckle sandwichs. REAL MEN don't care whether punching a guy with a shotgun is a bad idea. THEY DO IT ANYWAY.

Genre: RPG

Put away those huge swords, armor, and magic powers and SHOW YOUR MANLINESS by killing them with NOTHING BUT A T-SHIRT AND BUTTERKNIFE. If there's an option to fight with fists in your underwear, EVEN BETTER.

Genre: Fighting

Yes, yes, we know about that guy with huge muscles. But what about THE GUY WITH A BEARD? Doesn't matter what kind, shape, or size, but anyone knows its not a win UNLESS ITS A BEARD WIN. A MANLY WIN. It doesn't matter which fighting game, but as long as its got a guy with facial hair, IT'S MANLY.

Genre: Simulation

The games where you create-a-character and live a virtual life. Here's some tips:

-ONE HUGE BEARD
-A HANDLEBAR MUSTACHE
-FISTS THE SIZE OF RUSSIA
-PANTS
-THE ABILITY TO SHOUT "SPAAARTAAAA!" [If possible]

I'll release more tips on being MANLY later. Enjoy!

Oh yeah, leave comments on how to be manly in video games. Sorry women, this blog isn't for you.

+0 -0

HellMaster
08 Feb 2010 01:28

Very Creative

arg410
07 Feb 2010 19:50

no pants dont do that or your gay ;P

SlickShady333
07 Feb 2010 07:26

Genre: FPSRPG
If it'll get you xp SHOOT IT, If they are on your team, shoot em anyway. Make sure you have the smallest weakest gun or perhaps even a pocket knife, and climb up buildings or tress and snipe people with that to get max xp.

garystue72
06 Feb 2010 22:47

Fighting:
Hack the game to make Chuck Norris a playable character and make his only attack a roundhouse kick to the face.

garystue72
06 Feb 2010 22:45

Puzzle:
Who needs logical thinking? Push some buttons and move some stuff around and something will happen eventually.

OriSiv
06 Feb 2010 22:10

Strategy:
Don't care about making an army,just create 1 guy with a big sword and let him run in 1000's of monsters!
Oh yeah....

garystue72
06 Feb 2010 22:02

MMORPG:
Who needs parties? Go into that lvl 90+ dungeon by yourself and fight of those hordes of "Mega Uber Skeletons of Pwnage" solo! Someone will come by and revive you eventually!

HullBreach
06 Feb 2010 20:06

Genre: Platformer

- Big belly that impedes running speed
- Porkchop sideburns that block peripheral vision
- Handlebar mustache that hinders breathing
- Suspenders that stifles leg motion

Blog approved for homepage!

Most Manly Ways to Win

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