Okay, before I start, I know I’m gonna get a lot of crap because I think Justin Bieber sings like an eight-year-old girl. However, I refuse to be silenced.

I didn’t really plan on making this blog because I was bored, but rather because his music kept playing on the radio, and after a while it was becoming really annoying.

So, here we go. Let the ranting commence!

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Ah, Justin Bieber. The pop icon on the decade. The girl who’s voice scares the birds away, and attracts nearly every woman between the ages of eight to eighteen. The number-one most hated person in the eyes of most men.

Justin Bieber is what I like to call a “one-hit-wonder,” which is someone who releases one popular song, then automatically thinks they are the most famous person since Chuck Norris. He’s like a male Ke$ha... not a very good thing at all.

And could someone tell me why this kid keeps singing about love so goddamn much? I mean, for God’s sakes, Justin, you’re, like, freaking twelve! When I was your age, the only thing I was concerned about was getting my freaking cooties shots, which I recently learned do not combat STDs, not even slightly. The closest thing he probably knows about love is his affection towards Lunchables!
Justin Bieber’s like a male version of Miley Cyrus. He’s gonna run a few popular songs, his career’s gonna collapse, then POOF, gone! Where’s Miley Cyrus right now? Probably passed out in a ditch somewhere… or on Dancing with the Stars, I don’t know which one is worse.

If you’re a man, and you actually enjoy listening to Justin Bieber’s hit-song “Baby,” you officially need to turn in your balls, because you don’t deserve them.

Justin Bieber, if I recall correctly, was originally supposed to be a fourth member of the Alvin and the Chipmunks, but got rejected because they didn’t want a member with stupid hair.

And I heard that Justin Bieber actually called girls “shorty.”
First of all, no, no, no, no… just no.
Second of all, you’re not allowed to call people “shorty” because you are a plate of cookies and a stupid hat away from being one of Santa’s little helpers.

The only thing more annoying than that little annoying voice is easily the fans. I don’t know why, but teenage girls just love him. I think Justin went to the “Tiger Woods’ school of Attracting Women.”

But really, first the Jonas Brothers and now Justin Bieber? Is this what’s in? Is this what’s hip? Are non-descending testicles the new black? I guess I just don’t get it. How or why would anyone make him famous?

Now, let’s take a journey. A journey into the heart of Justin Bieber, with his… inspirational work… “One less Lonely Girl:”

There's gonna be one less lonely girl
(One less lonely girl)
One less lonely girl
(One less lonely girl)

There's gonna be one less lonely girl
(One less lonely girl)
One less lonely girl

How many I told yous and start overs and shoulders
Have you cried on before?
How many promises, be honest girl
How many tears you let hit the floor?

How many bags you packed, just to take him back
Tell me that how many either ors
But no more if you let me inside of your inside your world
There'll be one less lonely girl

*sniffle* so… inspirational… */crycrycry*

His lyrics are bland, his audience is annoying, and his looks remind me of Miley Cyrus. There is only one question in my mind about Justin Bieber at this point: When I’m around the age of eighteen, and I’m sitting on my couch, watching a biography of the life of Justin Bieber, I will be eagerly listening for the part where it reveals what drug he’s addicted to. I vote heroin.

Okay, that’s all for now. Thank you for reading.

- StuffMan