in the minute it took to continue this new one from the first, i lost some thoughts, there are just gone.
my dad. hes an ass hole. always getting at me, never leaving me alone. sometimes i want him dead. but thats stupid. what will the rest of my family do without him? hes the provider, the only one with a job. my mom and my brother sure as hell arent going to work, and im still wondering what my first job should be. im still thinking about it.
thinking. i seem to be saying it a lot. but it keeps coming up. god its annoying.
god. i used to believe in him. but i cant anymore. i remember feeling good thinking that someone was watching over me, but then it just got irratating, along with everything else. i hated going to church. i hated going to sunday school. i hated the thought of just giving our money away, but thats probably just my greed talking. i dont remember when i stopped believing, im sure i didnt just stop, it must have taken some time.