what the hell do you want from me?! do i have to make an amazing drawing in paint? make everything i say in the chats to be hilarious? no, i ncant do that. im not an artist. im not a comedian. sometimes i dont even know what to say. something to say.
i feel like i have to say something, but what, why? its burning inside of me. eating at my insides, tearing me apart. i have to say it, god what is it? i just, think, think, think.
i feel stupid. i feel like almost every word i type contradicts the words before it. im just whining and cryin here.
i cried. for the first time in a while. i usually cry because of something i see, like in a movie that just gets to me. but when i did a little while ago, it was from inside. that hasnt happened in such a long time, it didnt even last long, 49 seconds. i dont know why i count. i have been counting how long i cried for years now, i did it every once in a while.
im sure if anyone reads this, which is very few people, this sounds depressing. think what you want. ill think