Complusive.
I think.
I feel.
I hear.
I see.
The same things.
I'm obsessing.
I'm addicted.
Please help me.
My own thoughts kill me.
I have it on replay.
To some it may be;
"What did I do wrong?"
"Why aren't we happy anymore?"
"Why do they hate me?"
"Why me?"
No.
Not to me.
I 'm different.
My mind locks out everything.
I can't think of all but,
I do think of violence.
Horror.
Gore.
Pain.
Suffering.
Sick I know.
I feed on fear.
Disgusted in myself.
Disturbed.
These thoughts have control.
It's twisted,
It's messed.
I have images.
In my head.
Of people dying.
People crying.
Some even of people suffering.
I absolutly hate it.
Yet my mind has me listen to it.
See it.
Emmerse it.
Every second.
Every hour.
Every day.
Every week.
Of every year...
Some say it's visions from my past.
Never been there before.
So what is it that drives my mind.
So insane.
And you know you've lost it,
When you've cut "I'm fine" into your leg before.
When you think demented.
And when you see that every where you turn.
You see the hidden pain in peoples eyes.
You observe them.
Take record.
You can see right through their lies.
And you can't help but to laugh.
My mind is cruel.
I will admit.
I love seeing pain.
I love hearing screams.
I love rejoicing the facts.
And yet I stop once again to think to much about it.
I stop and say, "Hey,
Maybe I could help"
And I try.
Ohh believe me I try.
And yet I till have twisted visions.
And messed up thoughts.
And do believe me.
I don't mean to freak you out.
If you are under the age of 13,
You may want to stop reading now.

I want to live my life like this;

I cut, "I'm fine" into my leg.
I want to cry tears of blood.
I long for apsulotion.
And I cry for showing eyes.
I want to wear my hair down.
I want my lips sewn shut.
I want to cut some more.
I want to show the world my marks.
I want to show you who I really am.
And I want to show you what I do.