This story is so bad that critics didn't even give it one star. This story is so bad, you won't feel anything after it. You'll probably laugh at how much it sucks. Here is the story that fails:

It all began in a magical kingdom full of trolls and goblins and more trolls and goblins. Then, the zombies began invading.
Cue Bob, a marine who can't shoot straight. He took a shot at one of the zombies and missed. Instead, the bullet hit a can of coke that stood 500 feet away. Therefore, he decided to nuke that kingdom. Even the nuke missed and instead blew up Earth.

Americans were obviously annoyed so they nuked the kingdom back thereby removing their zombie crisis.
Bob promptly decided to thank America and gave them a lifetimes supply of candy.

However, a new villain arose called Rick Astley. He planned to rick roll the entire universe. The only person who could stop him was Bob as he was the only person who could unplug a plug.
Rick Astley was about to transmit it when a wild flukeman appeared!
Rick Astley used rick roll!
Flukeman fainted!
Rick Astley then resumed the task of plugging in the speakers that would transmit the song of all destruction.

Before he was about to broadcast it, Bob appeared. Rick Astley tried to rick roll him but noticed earplugs. Bob aimed at the speakers but missed and hit Rick Astley.
'I meant to do that!' explained Bob.

Bob then noticed that his escapades had been written in this blog and sued LinkZelda for defamation. He won the case and I was forced to pay nuke damages. He then told me he was a crackshot.

We settled this in professional sport. Clay pigeon shooting.
He missed the first one but the bullet instead hit a green glass bottle standing on a wall about 1000 feet away. Then there was 9 green bottles sitting on the wall.