Andrew was a chartered accountant in Wal*Mart. However, one day an epic war broke out between accountants and actuaries. Only one could survive. This war was fought with laser sword calculators otherwise known as a lightsabulator. Some also used 'the force' which was basically a cheesy special effect involving strings. Andrew however was about to get sucked into this war.

All of his work had been stolen. The only thing left was a calculator with the number '5318008' on the display.
"This looks like the work of our legendary enemy, the actuary." mused Andrew. He began to formulate a plan to recover his work.

He grabbed his lightsabulator and used the force to make tea. Afterwards an idea clicked in his head. He knew that actuaries always work out risk before proceeding. This vital weakness could be crucial to defeating them.

He started the engine of his Tie Fighter and began his journey to the actuary's battle fleet.

"Unrecognised aircraft approaching HQ!" hollered the actuaries' alarm system.
"All actuaries to battle stations!" Shouted a senior actuary.
They were working on a secret weapon which changed the likelihood of any event. They called it the Risk Star.

Andrew strafed through the lasers and took out a few turrets. He looped around and fired a few lasers into the window.
"Agh." Said a few actuaries as they were sucked out.
The accountant landed and got out his lightsabulator. He slashed horizontally across his body and used 'the force' to send them flying backwards. Some strings snapped thus rendering the forces useless. He then completed a backflip and missed an actuary. Eventually the fighting stopped and the accountant continued.

There stood an ominous black cladded figure. He was clearly in charge and looked like he could kill anything (except Chuck Norris). His prowess in 'the force' was unmatched.
"Good evening Andrew." said the man.
"Wh- who are y-you?" trembled Andrew.
"I am the great Lord Sir Darth Sparta Vegeta 69 Rocky. You may call me Darth Rocky."
"Shut up so I can force push you"
"Fool! I have no strings attached to me!"
Andrew ran as fast as he could until he found a room to hide in.
There he saw his work. But before he left, he was interrupted by actuaries. Nothing he couldn't handle.

On his return, he saw that Wal*Mart had been turned into a Mal*Wart. Suddenly he froze
"It's a trap!" he yelled and threw himself down just as the building imploded. He looked at his documents and noticed they were fake.

Meanwhile, Darth Rocky had formulated a strategy to overthrow the accountants. He called it 'order 69'. He would execute this plan while the accountants faced a different foe. "Mwhahahahaha *cough* haha!"
"Um sir?" asked an actuary.
"GTHO so I can do my evil laugh!" yelled Darth Rocky.
"O-okay sir" squeaked the actuary."
Darth Rocky resumed his ominous laughter as evil villains generally do.