Noob was a very unhappy child. He did not fit in with others. His only friends were those of anonymity, those who lurked on the internet. Noob was an only child, and he seeked attention.

His parents were too soft on him. They always gave into his demands. At 10, they let him quit school. The parents never worried they were well financially, and wanted to raise their child forever. Needless to say, Noob was spoiled, perhaps too much.

He didn`t live with his parents in the same house. They built an exact replica, fifteen feet away. He lived there, alone and still discontent. He was accompanied by a butler, who disliked Noob very much. But who`s going to complain when you get 75 thousand a year? Noob was so spoiled, he had family dinner via webcam!

Later, during Christmas holiday, Noob requested every toy that existed. His parents, oblivious as they may be, finally set their foot down. It was decided he`d ony get half of what he wanted. Noob, was mad.

On Christmas day, Noob pouted. "Dis ez NET FAIR!" As you see, his lack of schooling finally caught up with him. Greedy as he was, Noob reached for the smallest present first. He figured it`d be something worthless. His eyes dilated in excitement as he glimpsed the item.

It was a DSi! The ebony wonder had a palpable happiness. Noob, disrespectful as ever, did not stop to thank his parents. Noob felt this was it. He`d been waiting for genius like this. Being the prankster he was, Noob searched online for a child community, stumbling upon DSiPaint. It was a quiet site, but full of strangers nonetheless. Noob set up his bio with lies. The typical fabrications were there: High Honor student, high school quarterback, and a fake picture of him with abs.

Try as he might, Noob failed to get friends. "This ES sew Unfare!111one!

Noob did one final thing, a desparate attempt. He would whine in the chatrooms!

If only his parents had spanked him...