Hello my Friends. I see you have
stumbled upon my instructional
blog. What makes you think you're
worthy to receive such knowledge?
It it perhaps because I made this
a public accessible source? For
your information reading this blog
may result in temporary blindness.
The common man can't be exposed
to this complex and profound blog,
and expect to live.
READ ON AT YOUR OWN RISK
Toast. The sweet aroma.. It is one of the great blessings from the Deitys. What exactly makes toast so special? Perhaps it has to do with the tendency it has to baffle mankind. Simply butter and bread, yet when combined correctly the two become a new substance. Something that is to delicious to comprehend. Words can not describe the amazing sensation that toast gives us. It is the eighth wonder of the world! Even such minds as Albert Einstein or Stephen Hawkings do not compare to the Great Toast. I must say, all of mans innovations have not even scratched the surface as to how much glory and fame the Great Toast boasts.
The Art of Creating Toast
So mortal, you wish to make toast? Well then. Follow these simple Constellations steps. Each step must be taken seriously, and done diligently. Toast doesn't improvise.
1. Clear your mind of all things other then the great toast.
2. Purchase bread from a king. {It must be kings bread, if you can not find a king then tough luck}
3. Purchase butter from a guy named Bruce.
4. Tear your clothes and put Ashes on your head {shows your humility}
5. Take the bread to a catholic church and have them pray over it.
6. Take the butter to an Indian, allow him to do a ceremonial dance around it.
7. Walk into an empty laboratory with the ingredients.
8. Open the bread. DO NOT TOUCH IT.
9. Meditate on the bread. Feel it with your mind.
10. Wash your hands in a bowl of diamonds.
11. Place one slice of kings bread on a silk pillow.
12. Relocate the slice to a toaster. If you cannot find a toaster in the laboratory then you are clearly in the wrong one.
13. Repeat step 10.
14. Place the bread in the toaster.
15. Plug in the toaster, don't turn it on yet.
16. Dim the lights.
17. Turn on the toaster.
18. Get a monk to pray over it while it cooks.
19. Repeat step 10.
20. Take out the Great Toast and apply Bruce's butter.
By @SUPERIOR
