BanMan, a rubbish poet, was bored. So he wrote a poem. Nobody understands his intricate metaphors. Not even himself. The poem was about jam and chess.

"Jam sandwiches with cress
taste better while playing chess
Beware of the mess
Caused by the jam's caress"

Then BanMan published it as you do. His interest in chess was noticed by the world chess champion and was thus challenged. Now, BanMan is rubbish at chess because all poets have equal skill in poetry and chess. Surprisingly, BanMan won in 3 moves. Pawn to E4 followed by Queen to H6.

Thus began controversy. How could BanMan, a rubbish poet become world chess champion in 3 moves? Impossible. However, BanMan refused all rematches as you do.

Anyway, BanMan was assassinated. Or at least they attempted to but his poetry was so bad that it was impossible to approach him in case he spoke some verse. Or if he spoke verse as a ghost. Then a miracle happened, logic dictates that poets have equal skill in chess and poetry. This meant that BanMan became the World's Best Poet. Nobody understood it but his choice of words impressed everyone. In fact, this was how William Shakespeare was born.

BanMan then resigned from chess. Thus causing the death of Shakespeare leading to his fall to the world's worst poet. He refuses to write poetry to this day. Or will he one day share his majesty with the world? Only time will tell.

True Story.