If you haven't heard already, I'm going to conquer the Earth. I can't conquer without the help of some honest souls who are willing to do everything I say, from tipping over people in wheelchairs to stealing candy from kids, and can work without pay if the bank robbing team somehow gets caught.
There is no bias in the hiring process, so join now, fools!
Any one who joins before July 12, 2010 will earn a free island!*
Join before May 24, 2009, and you'll get a billion dollars!
So join today! All you need to do is put your name, an alias, and your credit card number!




*Island may or may not be tropical, and buildings may or may not be on them.



By signing this you agree to these terms:
1. You will speak to and about Marceus as Emporer, Dictator, Supreme Ruler, or simply Arceus.
2. You give Marceus the right to use your money and credit.
3. Blar.
4. You make a 'derp' face when he says 'derp'.
5.
6. You must agree with number 5's terms.
7. You must read this.



No purchase necessary to win. See specially marked boxes to win. Chances of winning Grand Prize: 1 in 26,000,000. Winner will be announced on Feb. 30, 2013. Blar. Derp. Why aren't you making a 'derp' face?!