Friends. They're generally considered to be a good thing. People want friends, people strive to make friends, and people would take a sword through the head for their friends. Friends are so high in demand that many people have devoted entire sites, public events, even studies and academic essays to friends. But who exactly are friends?

Friends are schoolmates, neighbors, people we meet possibly by chance. Right?

Wrong.

Friends are not who you think they are. Just as a single perspective offers a view of the King of Hearts with his sword through his head, having only a certain amount of knowledge on someone offers only a warped view of what that person really is to you.

The King of Hearts appears on his card as though he's stabbing himself in the head. This is only because of the perspective from which the card depicts him. In reality when a person swings a sword, from certain angles they would appear to have their sword through themself. It's the same with your so-called "friends".

While your friends may at times seem as though they're making sacrifices to help you out, in reality they're only making you think they're as harmless to you as a dead person while being as helpful as a floating corpse to a drowning person.

Your friends are trying to gain your trust and get your guard down. They're trying to trick you so that they can strike when you least expect it. Your friends are trying to take you down. And once you're down, they'll kick you and take your things.

Why?

Because all friends are actually government spies. The government hates you, friendship, and everything good. That's why your friends sometimes seem to be hiding things from you.

Which government is doing this? All of them. All governments are actually one group run by our number one enemy; the mole people who live underground.

Why else would spies and informants be called moles?

Mole people are jealous of our overworld life, and they'll do anything to destroy it.