By @CrymsonLiynn
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CrymsonLiynn: Good evening, Mr. OMS, how are you doing? I hear you're running for President of Mannheim. Why do you want to work in that industry?
Old Man Skunk: I am running for president because I believe it will better allow me to push through changes that benefit my business, such as tax loopholes and crippling regulation against my competitors, like Helmer.
CrymsonLiynn: Well, tell us a little about yourself. How you came to be where you are today.
Old Man Skunk: I am the 32nd in my family's lineage of shop owners. The family business has grown considerably over the centuries, but I feel that becoming president is the only way I can make it grow further.
CrymsonLiynn: Using the presidency is definitely a way to go. So, where do you see yourself in five years if elected?
Old Man Skunk: I see myself starting my second term and laughing like a maniac in a pile of money. Most politicians think that, but only I am willing to say it.
CrymsonLiynn: That takes a lot of guts to admit that, sir. I am certain the voters will love that honesty. During this campaign, what do you feel is your greatest weakness?
Old Man Skunk: Weakness? I am unfamiliar with this term.
CrymsonLiynn: Every man has a weakness, sir. But, perhaps you are the Chuck Norris of this election. So, what changes do you propose to the current economy?
Old Man Skunk: I plan to hire enough garbage collectors to pick up trash from Mannheimians every day so that I can stock my store's shelves with this new inventory and resell it at fair (determined by me) market prices. The economy of my store will flourish. If anyone else benefits, then that is just a positive by-product of my economic plan.
CrymsonLiynn: Well, that is positively a well thought out proposal. I'm on board! Up until this moment in your life, what has been your greatest accomplishment?
Old Man Skunk: I once sent an attack dog on some kids that were loitering near my shop. This is how I will be as your president: The figurative attack dog that will chase away anyone who tries to get in the way of my... er, I mean our economic success.
CrymsonLiynn: Well woof! What motivates you to push on with your candidacy?
Old Man Skunk: I see dollar signs and happy customers. Those thoughts are what keep me going.
CrymsonLiynn: A man who loves money? You're just so charming! How would your friends describe you?
Old Man Skunk: They probably look up to me as a role model. I can't see why not.
CrymsonLiynn: I'm sure you have many admirers! Do you have the old ball and chain at home and kids, or are you a bachelor on the prowl?
Old Man Skunk: There is an Old Woman Skunk, and we have a grown son who will be the successor to the family business when I no longer have the energy to both sell fine merchandise and chase kids off the lawn. I have named Young Man Skunk as my running mate for this election because I believe we have the same goals for the administration.
CrymsonLiynn: Sorry ladies, he's taken! So, What do you like to do in your spare time, other than chasing kids off of your lawn?
Old Man Skunk: I like to dig up trash from my back yard to give out as campaign bribes... er store promotions.
CrymsonLiynn: Sounds good. Everyone loves free stuff! Hmm, why do you think your presidential opponents should not be elected?
Old Man Skunk: I actually have no opposition at this point, so that is why no one else should be elected.
CrymsonLiynn: Seems logical enough. Well, that seems to be all the questions I have for you at this time. Anything more you would like to say?
Old Man Skunk: Keep those campaign signs off my lawn!
CrymsonLiynn: Will do, sir. You have yourself a good night, and good luck! Thank you for the interview.
Old Man Skunk: Thank you, young lady.
Raisons du Coeur
Azure09
MS CAN'T BE A CHUCK NORRIS STORE SELLER OF MULTIPLE ITEMS.AFTER ALL CHUCK NORRIS'S BIGGEST AND ONLY EXPORT IS PAIN,AND CHUCK NORRIS DOESN'T FEEL PAIN,PAIN FEELS CHUCK NORRIS. True Story.
