Hello, everyone! Recently I've been noticing the large amounts of interviews going on, but you've all carelessly left out one poor soul who has labored silently in the dark for years, working countless hours without muttering a word of complaint, even though his work has gone unnoticed and unappreciated forever. A true hero to us all, I bring you... the chair!

Me: Hello, my name is Koala. Would you mind if I asked you a few questions?

Chair: Not at all. I could probably use a break after supporting a 300 pound man for several hours.

Me: Okay then. First question, do you like your job?

Chair: Well, there's times when the job gets tough, but I never complain once about it, because I know at the end of the day I'll have done a huge favor for a huge person. There's nothing I'd rather be doing than this job. There's nothing else I can do, either.

Me: Next question, what kind of friends do you have as a chair?

Chair: At the end of the day, I love talking to my best friends Desk and Drawer. They sometimes have quite the stories to tell, and they're really nice. Desk even lets Drawer live in him! Such a nice fellow.

Me: Cool! Anyways, how is your relationship with the humans that you support?

Chair: It all depends, I support new people everyday. Most humans I help are very kind, but there have been a few unpleasant ones who fart as loudly as possible on me and then proceed to throw me around the room in rage when someone ends their 25 kill streak on their video game. I just put a smile on my face and say to myself, "The humans are always right!"

Me: You seem very busy. Do you get much rest?

Chair: I usually get very little time to rest, but it's fine, because having no flesh means I need no sleep.

Me: Well thanks for your time, and good luck with your future endeavors!

Chair: No problem, thanks for interviewing me! Now if you'll excuse me, I need to support someone. He's pulling an all-nighter by the looks of it. Whoopee!