Hello everyone. It's been some time since I last took a swing at writing something, so I thought I should start up again. Hopefully I'll be putting things out at my regular pace again soon.

Before that though, I need to clear some things up first and apologize.

I know in the past I've, on occasion, put out some blogs that may have had some slightly skewed information. For example, I may have been mistaken when I reported that leprechauns were hacking the site. I might have misunderstood something when I said the musical, Grease, was a historical documentary. And somewhere along the way, it's possible I didn't quite get the facts straight when I said evil giant clones of us lead by a mutant green, radioactive, superpowered monster named Hulkbreach were attempting to destroy the world.

In my defense, I think these mistakes could have been made by anyone. Mistakes such as thinking my reflection was actually another person in a parallel dimension who had stolen all of my things, confusing all friends for secret government spies, and mistaking funeral service companies for mass murder cover-ups.

I admit that some of these things were more obviously untrue and that the blame for spreading unsubstantiated rumours was entirely on me. Rumours like fire being an angry spirit that must be appeased with sacrifice, websites creating real live dragons, and babies coming from magic lettuce. That was all my fault there. My bad.

But I assure you, the community, that never again will I screw up like that again. I swear on my dignity as both a writer and a concerned user of this great site. I promise I will never again say such outrageously absurd things without proper research to back it up. Outrageously absurd things like TV Guide using time travel to find out what programming will air, Trick-or-treaters being demons from hell that we should attack on sight, and, of course, me being a vampire. I don't know what I was thinking when I said all those things. I must have been possessed by some angry fire and mirror people.

I'd like to end this blog now by asking you all to forgive my past mistakes and to once again let me into your hearts. I promise I won't mess things up again. As a sign of my resolve to improve my blogs' credibility, next week I'm going to write a blog in the Movies and TV category about how television producers are actually all Schnauzers in disguise.

Thank you for your time. I hope I've managed to show my true colors here, and I'll see you all next week. Let's hope things go well over my next 50 blogs.