Feverishly, I shoved aside thickets and brambles as I tore through the foliage, scraping my legs and knees as I clung to my precious satchel. My prize was heavy, but I did not slow, for I knew what gruesome fate awaited me if I were to rest.

A deafening roar from behind me sent birds fleeing in terror like a feathery explosion from the treetops. The monster of the Kalahimazariharo jungle was gaining, and I knew I had but precious seconds to come up with a plan before it caught on.

The air was thick with humidity, and my brow was sticky with sweat, pouring into my eyes and making them sting. sweaty patches grew in size, discolouring my navy-blue tailcoat. It mattered little, from all the scratches and burns on the tailcoat, it would be thrown away as soon as I got home.

I nimbly leapt over boulders and bushes, the beast in hot pursuit. I could hear only the thudding of my boots against the soft forest floor, and the pounding of its heavy paws.

Just as I thought I could almost feel its breath on my shoulders, I spotted a cliff ahead. I knew from my research that it led to a sheer drop above a lake full of sharp rocks and violent rapids. There was no way I would survive a fall like that.

Sensing its victory, the beast slowed down, content to toy with its meal. I slowed to a stop at the edge of the cliff. I would not be its prey.

It drew close, emerging out from the shade of the trees. Its beastly tongue lolled like a corpse from its wet, gaping maw. Its eyes were bulbous and swollen, rolling in their sockets like great, glistening marbles. Its pupils were dilated and cloudy, eyeing me with fury.

It knew there was nowhere to go. It knew the Kalahimazariharo jungle better than I, having lived here for goodness only knows how long. It knew that escape was impossible.

But it didn't know that escaping the impossible was all in a day's work for Sir Fartington Smithers.

Kneeling on one of my scraped legs, I grabbed my satchel with its heavy load, and cast it out over the abyss. I held it suspended above the drop, keeping a firm grip, but ready to let go at any moment.

The beast jolted, eyeing the pack. It sniffed the air with hunger and panic, its nose damp and snorting, but it didn't move. Its prize was in the pack, and it couldn't. If I dropped it into the lake, there was no it would ever recover it, thanks to the raging currents and its poor underwater eyesight.

I had it now. Just like that, the tables had been turned. It couldn't afford to lose the glistening treasure within my satchel. I grinned smugly, and stood up, facing the monster. I straightened my top-hat, and smoothed out my neatly curled moustache. Not a hair out of place.

"I say, my dear behemoth, it does rather seem we are at an impasse."

It growled menacingly, spitting chunks of saliva and mucus from between its yellowed fangs.
I knew not if it could understand me. It was impossible to read its great, unfocussed eyes or snarling jaws. It could well have been that it was a rational creature, capable of understanding me and trying to figure out a way to retrieve my stolen goods, while also swatting down the pesky human that had been such a nuisance to it these last three days.

It seemed far more likely to me that it was just a primal beast, trained and conditioned by an ancient peoples into protecting the priceless item within my satchel at all costs. Puckered, bald scars ran down its thinly furred back, painful reminders of the flaming whips and blades which had undoubtedly made it this way: a beast of nothing but fury.

It seemed to sense my dwindling concentration, for it chose that moment to pounce, but it did not realise that no creature can get the jump on Sir Fartington Smithers!

I had seen its muscles tensing, its pupils contracting, and its change in posture.

I jolted back into action, shaking the satchel and dangling it further out into the open.

"Ah ah ah," I said, waggling my free index finger at the thing. It stopped before it had even started, taking a step backward. As much as it hated me, it did not want to risk losing my prize.

I reached into the depths of my tailcoat's breast pocket and pulled out my diamond-encrusted pocketwatch, one of a design which was all the rage in Londonshire.

I glanced at its multi-dial display, quickly homing in on the appropriate hands.

"Three on the dot," I declared, and looked up as though the beast might respond. Naturally it said nothing, and eyed my shiny watch with greed.

It was exactly three, it should be arriving any minute-

The beast was the first to hear the thudding in the air, with its superior hearing range and sensitive ears. Its eyes dilated again, and it flailed in anger. Clearly the noise was disturbing it.

After a few seconds, I heard it too. A gentle thud-thud-thud, like the rumbling sound you sometimes get through an ajar car window.

It grew louder, and the creature thrashed and slobbered, slashing the trees and rocks into shreds with its long, serrated claws. I felt the air jarring with each thud, sending mild pains through my eardrums. It seemed the noise was far too much to bear for the beast's delicate ears.

"Well," I shouted over the din. "It does rather seem that my flight has arrived. I'll be seeing you then old chap. Tally ho!"

And with that, I grabbed my hat in one hand and swan-dived backwards off the cliff.

The beast made a snap decision, fuelled by rage and confusion. It leapt off the cliff after me, but let out a startled roar of terror as it met the slashing blades of a helicopter, which sliced through its flesh as though it were a grape in a blender. Its bones and organs were rent apart and went flying in all directions, creating a gentle spray of red mist over the clear water below. I watched the whole scene as I hung from the rope-ladder suspended from the vehicle. I replaced my hat to prevent the sprinkling of putrid goo from messing up my beautiful hair.

"That'll teach you not to mess with Sir Fartington Smithers of Londonshire!" I proclaimed to the tattered remnants of the monster, being beaten about by the blades.
I slung my satchel around my shoulder once more, and started to climb the rungs.