Some of these are from myself, others from friends, a few from parents. But all were said in my presence.

"I looked up H. M. Murdock and got forty thousand pictures of Dwight Schultz being an idiot."

"We need to stop going on math tangents!" "Oh, the Algebra jokes. They just keeping multiplying."

"My totally black hoodie has a pink stripe on it!"

"I do believe I just stepped in wet paint."

"Why can't Trill ever hide in crowds? Because they're always spotted!"

"Exterminate!" -My friend steps on a spider.-

"My name is Maximus Millercus, and I shall destroy all!" -Promptly hits self in forehead with practice gladius.-

"Mom, I want to join the SCA." "Oh, them? They're just a bunch of nerds! Haha!...Wait, you're serious?"

"That blanket you gave me smells like cat."

"Koschei, you're wearing shorts in the middle of January. In Alaska." "Yes, you see. I was too lazy to wash a pair of pants."

"What if Humans are just like, a brain, with a shell to move with?"

"Good eggs? You mean the ones that come from free range, petted daily, somewhere in Kansas chickens?"

"Koschei, I'm locked in the back of my parents van...I've got a little broom and some squeegees and some water, so it shouldn't get too dirty in here. I've also got some bungee cords, so I can just ensnare a bird and eat it's raw flesh if the need arises."

"We're lookng for my pet goldfishes. They ran away."

"One day, I'm going to be king of the United States."

"I'm colorblind." "What are our school colors?" "Teal and black. I said colorblind, not an idiot."

"In Australia, the spiders can strangle you in your sleep."

"Quit argueing with me!" "I'm not argueing. I'm condridicting."

"My armor doesn't fit!" "That's not your armor, ding-dong. Your a Roman, remember? Not a Mideval lord."

Ahh...I can be so dumb. And then be friends with dumber people.