Hello, everyone! For this, my 65th blog here, I've decided to spread hope and advice to all the poor, helpless, ugly people of the site! I should warn you now that there will be many exclamation marks, as what I have to say is of such a wonderfully fantastical nature that only an emphatic declaration of joy can possibly do the cuddly warmth of the message any level of justice! Ready yourselves.

It's Okay, You Hideous Fools

Much too often the tragedy of misinformation befalls the common person. This misinformation causes great distress and unavoidable disappointment because no matter how nice the lie, reality is cruel and holds no reservations when it comes to hurting you for believing something false. When it comes to certain things, sure it's okay to lie a bit. But for what I'm here to talk about, lies can only hurt you. The specific lie I'm talking about is that looks don't matter.

It doesn't matter how much you care about an ugly person, if you tell them it doesn't matter that their face could turn people to stone then you're only setting them up to be hurt. Looks do matter, and we need to be honest about that with ourselves because everyone else will be honest about it with us.

Another thing you shouldn't do is say that an ugly but nice person is beautiful on the inside. If they're a good person, then they're a good person. To define it by a standard that leaves them at the bottom of the ladder is like trying to call rap poetry. They're completely different things with their own set of standards that determine what their quality is. Don't dress things up they way you want them just so they sound nicer to the ear. Beauty is beauty and good is good, and you don't need to cross them together to have pride in yourself.

All that said, I realize it must be hard to be very ugly. I've never experienced it myself, but I was lucky. From what I've seen it doesn't look fun though. People treat good looking people much better than they treat ugly people. I know because when I walk down the street, people give me things for no reason. They just see me and say "My goodness you're good looking! I need to give you something for being so darned good looking!" That does't happen with ugly people. At best they get pity gifts. "Oh, wow! Holy cow, you need something to make up for how unfortunate that face is!"

Now... Where was I? Don't lie, looks matter, don't lie, it's hard to be ugly, I'm good looking, and... Oh! I know where I was going. To end this blog, here are some tips to make life easier for ugly people. You may not be able to improve your looks, but you can at least improve how people treat you.

Here goes:

- Be really successful. Develop a skill, be it art, business, or anything else to make money off of. If you have money, who gives a damn what you look like? You can do whatever to want! Plus, people try to kiss up to rich people!

- Stand near an uglier person. You'll look better by comparison! Of course there's always the possibilty that you'll only be treated that much worse. Two ugly people can easily be less likable than just one. That's what the next tip is for.

- Stand near a really good looking person. Hopefully you'll get some of the left over good treatment they'll get! People will treat you nicely so that they don't look mean in front of the cute person!

- If you have no good looking people to stand near you, wear a mask with a picture of a better looking person attached to it. Then just only hang around people with bad enough eye sight to think it's really your face. You'll be treated better and they'll think they're friends with a celebrity. Everybody wins!

Of course I guess you could just be confident in yourself and not let what shallow people say get you down. You could also just be friends with people who don't only care about looks. But what fun is that? Those people are a bore! And isn't it better to give in to societal pressure than to be bored? That's how I see it anyway. But then again I'm good looking, so I don't actually have to worry about any of this. I hope this has helped someone. Thanks for reading.