NOT BY ME BUT I LIKE THIS STORY IT HAS:Harry Potter, Alex Rider, the Power of Five!THIS STORY IS DONE BY Bingo

Jamie looks around furtively as he slips into Alex's Rider's room. He knows he must not be seen, otherwise he will be in big trouble.

He is staying with Alex, Harry Potter, Matt Freeman, his twin brother Scott and Ron Weasley in a ghastly little inn at Lesser Malling, because it is time for their usual autumn war with the Dark Forces, which consists of villains, bullies, and everyone else they can round up.

Jamie enters the room and takes a quick look around until he sees what he's been looking for: Alex's gadget bag.

He doesn't know Alex's bag itself has been wired by Smithers, but he is rather dense when gadgets are concerned, so we shall forgive him. Meanwhile, three rooms away, Alex Rider is in deep conversation with Harry, who is waiting for Scarlett Adams and Hermione Granger to show up.

'So what time is the war scheduled?' Harry is saying.

'Chaos said three o'clock in the a.m. exactly,' says Alex, checking his watch. 'So that's still a few hours away.'

'Three o'clock!' exclaims Harry disapprovingly. 'My, those bad guys have terrible timing. You know how Hermione gets if Ron misses his bedtime. And Scott will fall asleep halfway through.'

Alex nods in agreement. 'I told them. I said it a million times, I said I was certain nobody would like the timing, but what can we do? Apparently Scorpia is blowing up the Taj Mahal and they can't make it before then. Dreadful. But on the plus side, Smithers gave me something for Scott – the Power Prompter Pen. One click and it's going to boost his power so much he'll be wide awake. The side effects might include temporary insomnia though.'

'That's okay, Scott stays up half the night anyway on his stupid forum online,' says Harry knowingly.

Alex grins and is about to reply when his watch beeps. He looks down and starts laughing.

'What?' demands Harry curiously.

'Ole' Jamie is trying to break into my gadget bag!' chortles Alex. 'It's wired – I can tell when anyone but me opens it. And now he just took the Power Prompter.'

'Uh oh,' says Harry, who knows what Jamie is like with gadgets. 'One of us will have to tell Matt, and he wont be happy. You know he hates letting Jamie get gadgets.'

'You'll be fine if you do a shield charm before he throws a fit,' says Alex quickly. 'But otherwise you will be in great danger of flying objects decapitating you.'

'Good advice, mate,' says Harry gratefully. 'What now?'

'Well, right now Jamie is looking through my stuff for the Old One Away Spray,' says Alex, his eyes glued to the beeping watch. 'And there goes my Metamorphosing Mobile – bad luck, Harry, old chap, I wanted you to have that.'

Harry sighs.

'I hope he tries to text with it!' says Alex gleefully. 'It'll turn him into a Dudley Dursley look-alike! And if he pressed six he'll look like Sabina...'

His voice trails away and his eyes glaze over as he thinks of Sabina. Harry gives him a few minutes before pinching him.

'Oi! Ow!'

'Back to earth, Rider. What's going on now?'

Alex gives him a resentful glare but looks down at his watch. 'Haha. Now he's stealing the new Death-to-the-Death-Eaters iPod. Lol.'

Harry stares at him. 'Did you just say "lol"? Do people actually say that normally?'

Alex goes red but shrugs, determined to look cool. 'Yeah, mate, it's the latest in catch phrases.'

'Really?'

'Sure,' says Alex seriously. 'And "golly" is back in style too.'

'Golly!' says Harry automatically. 'I mean – I knew that.'

Alex looks back at his watch to hide his snickers.

'Jamie is done nicking my stuff,' he reports. 'He just closed the bag and I'm guessing he'll be out of my room by now. He just took the Dead-Death-Eaters iPod, the Metamorph Mobile – pity, I had a hundred free texts on it – and the Old One Away Spray. Oh, I forgot the Power Prompter Pen. Looks like our Jamie is set to win the war all by himself.'

Harry grins. 'Only to die when Matt catches him.'

Three rooms away, Jamie sneaks back into his own bedroom and locks the door, giggling in triumph. He lays his precious gadgets on the bed reverently, his eyes wide with awe.

At last, he was going to win. At last, the war would be his. At last, he wouldn't get a headache and have to take six Panadol Extras to keep up with everyone else. At last, he would be the hero, and Harry Potter, Matthew Freeman and Alex Rider would be forced to look up to him!

'I bet even Scar will be impressed,' he says to himself, as he inspects each one up close, 'Sabina too. She'll have to ditch Alex and...'

He pauses for a moment to wonder whether or not he likes Alex enough not to do it, then decides he likes being in the spotlight more. '...and Ginny'll ditch Harry...'

He inspects the instructions for the Death Eater iPod absently as he mutters under his breath. They are written in Japanese. Typically.

'...and Hermione'll ditch Ron...'

He struggles to read the instructions for a few minutes, then realizes it's hopeless. He'll have to wait till later to use that one. The only thing he knows about it is that pressing play would stun any Death Eater in the vicinity (Apple and Smithers Ltd terms and conditions would like to inform the customer that the product will only work if the objective Death Eaters do not have a shield charm upon them and nobody has died for them, otherwise they will be protected against product unless setting is set to 'uber-strong'. Terms and conditions apply, and Apple and Smithers Ltd are not responsible for any side effects, nausea, amnesia, tuberculosis, polio, spattergroit and possible death included. One-hour guarantee).

'...and Scar will ditch whoever she's with...'

He goes on to the Old One Away Spray. The instructions are in Arabic. He gives up on that and goes on to the Metamorph Mobile. The instructions are in Portugese. He groans in frustration and picks up the Power Prompter Pen's instructions. They are in Swahili. Feeling very put out and reckless, he clicks the little golden pen anyway. When nothing happens, he clicks again. He waits a few minutes, but still nothing. He clicks it frantically, then angrily, then maniacally, until he tosses it into the bin grumpily and stows the rest of the gadgets under the bed, close to tears.

What he does not know is that the Power Prompter takes effect in three hours. And that a single click is all that's needed to treble your power.

Three hours later, in Lesser Malling, during the Autumn War Between Harry Potter & Co, Alex Rider & Co, The Five & Co, versus Voldemort & Co, Chaos & Co, and Herod Sayle, Damian Cray, Dr Marius Grief, General Alexei Sarov, Scorpia and Nikolei Drevin (& Co):

Blood and sweat and dust everywhere. Everyone is screaming in anger, and adrenaline is rushing through every person, villain or hero. They are fighting to the –

'Time out!' screeches Scarlett as Bellatrix Lestrange starts to curse her. The hail that has been falling throughout the battle ceases suddenly.

'What?' says Bellatrix impatiently, her wand held aloft.

'I broke a nail,' whimpers Scar.

'Aw, you poor thing!' says Bellatrix sympathetically. 'I hate it when that happens!'

Scar nods sadly. 'Give me a few minutes. I'll be right back.'

'Okay, dear,' says Bellatrix. 'I'll wait right here. Don't be too long!'

In another part of the battlefield, Voldemort is locked in furious battle with Alex Rider. Alex has his Voldy-Go-Moldy iPod with him, and when he is not dodging he occasionally turns bits of Voldmort into fungus. Voldemort yelps as his pinky finger goes green and mushy.

'You dare, Rider!' he whines.

Alex rolls his eyes. 'Mortie, you used that one with Harry. Find something new to say.'

'Ow, that really hurt,' snaps Voldemort and he flexes his mouldy finger.

'Sorry, mate. All's fair in love and war.'

'Fine, but when this is over Pedro's healing my finger!'

Alex sighed. 'Yes, Mortie. Sorry.'

He looks around, bored, as Voldemort summons his Curse Encyclopedia to find a spell to counter Smither's gadgets. He watches as the Fly People flee a giant fly-swatter, curtesy of Hermione, and Yassen Gregorovitch smacks his brother Scott on the head before Scott quickly controls his mind. He watches as Albus Dumbldore and Mrs Deverill start arguing, and he watches as Alan Blunt pauses in his robotic routine to have a quick word with Professor McGonagall, whom he wants to ask out. He sees Luna Lovegood and her father helping Jack Starbright kick an Old One.

And then he spots Matt Freeman. He is not fighting.

He is staring at Jamie.

Matt is indeed looking at Jamie in confusion. He was fighting Julia Rothman when suddenly, a few minutes into the battle, Jamie had started acting strangely.

'Hang on a second, Jules,' he says quickly. 'I'll be back.'

Mrs Rothman shrugs. 'Take your time, Matthew, I'm in no rush. I'll be in my yacht, okay?'

'I'll text you when I'm done.'

He rushes over to Jamie, who has frozen while fighting Draco Malfoy. With a wave of Matt's hand, Malfoy is thrown into the air, so high he lands in India. Matt instantly turns to Jamie.

'What happened?'

'Alex – t-the – gaaaa – gaaaj...' croaks Jamie, who is standing stock-still with his head in his hands, utterly immobile. He seems unable to speak.

'You look like a constipated duck,' Matt blurts out before he can stop himself and Jamie glares helplessly.

'Gaaaaaaaa – ' he moans. Matt blinks.

' "Ga"?' he says quizzically. 'What's "ga" supposed to mean? "Ga" as in...I dunno. Goo goo gaa gaa? Jamie, are you speaking baby?'

Jamie clenches his jaw.

'Gaaaaaa!' he says fiercely. 'Gaaaa! Gaaaaaddd - '

'Gaga?' guesses Matt. 'Ga what? Gaaaaa...?'

'Gaaaaaaaadge!' Jamie manages to say. 'Ga – GAJ—'

'Gaj – gadge...' Matt gasps as he realized what Jamie is saying. 'Jamie! You mean gadget?'

Jamie throws him a dirty look that clearly means, 'Duh.'

Matt suddenly looks furious. 'Jamie! You've been playing with Alex's stuff, havent you? After I expressly told you not to, I said it, I even PMed you about it, didn't I? I said it a million times, no gadgets, I soooooo told you so!'

'MAAAA!' screeches Jamie impatiently.

'Oh,' says Matt quickly. 'Right. You're stuck somehow. On it.'

He turns around and yells, 'EVERYONE, TAKE FIVE!'

There is a low mumble in the battlefield as people sigh in relief or groan in disappointment, but the fighting stops nontheless. Matt scans the area until he spots Smithers, and trots off towards him.

Jamie stands motionless, clutching his head, until he comes back.

'Smithers says you probably used the Power Prompter,' Matt rattles off. 'He told me if you clicked it more than once you're going to suffer what he called overdose, and your power will expand unbearably, for a few minutes, then you'll be able to talk but you will have side-effects...'

His voice trails off as Jamie does indeed manage to talk, hoarsely.

'I want you to stop it,' he growls. 'I didn't need a diagnosis, thanks a lot.'

Matt sulks. 'You're so ungrateful. When the war resumes I'm making you go to the front line. Smithers said you'll just have to wait it out, but you wont be able to sleep for a few months.'

Jamie groans. 'But this is crazy! I can hear everyone's thoughts!'

'Really?' says Matt with interest. 'How bad is it?'

Jamie scowls then bellows, 'Matt, some girl in Madagascar wants a pony for her birthday. Why would I want to know about some girl in Madagascar who wants a pony for her birthday? Do I look like I want to know about some girl in Madagascar who wants a pony for her birthday? I shouldn't be able to read the thoughts of some girl in Madagascar who wants a pony for her birthday!'

'Ouch, mate,' says Matt, but he can't hide the smirk on his face.

Jamie shudders, turning green.

'What is it?'

'Honeymoon,' he chokes and Matt winces sympathetically, still struggling not to laugh.

Now Jamie moans and clutches his stomach.

'What now?'

'Somebody is throwing up in Malaysia...'

'Oh, ewwwww!'

'YUCK!'

'What now?'

'Some guy in Texas is eating worms!'

'Oh, ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!'

Jamie suddenly lets out his breath in relief, looking blissful.

'What?'

'Ahhh, it's someone with a really empty head...oh, wait, it's George Bush.'

'Hahaha!'

'Urgh!'

'What now?'

'Remind me never to find out how Grawp has his dinnnnneeerrr – '

Jamie groans and runs off to the St Mungo's tent, where he remains for the following three weeks. And even after that, he stays awake until the next war.

Meanwhile, everyone else has a hearty laugh, and when the bad guys hear of Jamie's plight they laugh so hard they either get stitches or hiccups and it was an easy matter for the good guys to win the war this round. They only have to fight Chaos, who doesn't seem to have a sense of humour, although when Matt talks to him online, he calls Jamie's problem a very "Lol" issue.