I lost a friend, somewhere along in the bitterness...

Memories are flooding back to me, and I want to break down and cry.
The Rin to my Haruka's gone-- you made me want to die.
"I'm sorry I was offended or that I even befriended you."
That's what I had said, but you didn't get the clue.
I never wanted to lose you, not to someone like him.
He used to be so arrogant, but of course I was rather dim.
I broke your heart and abandoned you, so why'd you come crawling back?
You know you're so much better than me, you're the leader of the pack.
My BFFsy for life, I never meant to not care.
But now you're off in some other place and I'll never be there.
I wadn't upset when you told me things, I would always listen to you.
But now we've fallen so far apart and I don't know what to do.
I'm the one who made you what you are, so why did you leave me?
I loved you and I trusted you, but I'm hurt now, can't you see?
You forgot me and went on with life. You never even say hi.
So I guess I should get over you, but I can't help but cry.
I could never be what you are. I look up to you.
But someday you're gonna hear my name and all you'll say is "who?"
I tried my best to support you but I now know that I failed.
The hardships that you're going through, alone they must be scaled.
You're here for me but I'm so far away. I despise anything that's real.
I never knew what happened to you but I still made a big deal.
You're not going to leave me, right? You know I love you so.
But I guess, if it was to help you, I'd be willing to let you go.

.....Just... Venting because I still feel like a bad friend...