Listen up scrubs, you want to make some awesome as hell spaghetti for your significant other, mom, dad, dog, My Little Pony sex doll or whatever.

I am going to teach you how and by after reading this, there is no way you can possibly screw this up unless you are blind or have no hands or something like that I dunno.

So yea, sauce.

To start you need some key items and ingredients.

I guess I have to use some sort of disclaimer and whatnot, if you are a kiddie, ask mommy and daddy to use a knife, or have them cut your stuff for you since, you know....knives are big boy and girl utensils and you still sit at the kiddie table with that little cousin you hate who has boogers coming out of his nose and smells like poop.

So to start this off, you wanna start prepping, I like to cut up everything and have it ready to go when I need it.

So first, chop up half an onion, you can use a whole onion if you want, but holy crap your breath will smell like ish and then no one will want to be by you, which is normal for most of you anyway so its all good. To chop an onion, you want to peel it first, then cut it right down the middle, take one of the halves and just cut thin sliced the opposite direction you cut it in to begin with, then chop those slices into little square. Its easy. (Note, I did not take a picture of me chopping onions, it makes me cry and no one wants to see a crying Haru, its embarrassing)

Next up you want to take one half of a green pepper, and one half of a red pepper.



See the seeds and the white junk around the insides? You wanna get rid of that crap, its nasty as hell. Slice the peppers, then cube it till it looks like this (Bonus, there is a bowl of chopped onions, minus a weeping Haru!)



Next you want to open a can of Italian diced tomatoes, doesnt matter what brand, I went for the cheap crap cause Haru is poor, and WalMart has those for like 55 cents a can, so whatever. then open a can of regular tomato sauce, a can of olives and get your fresh mushrooms ready. Dont mind the brownies in the background, those are Haru's "Special Happy Brownies."



Now that you have all of that ready, you are going to get your meat started. I use just some lean ground beef, you can use whatever. Ground beef is easier, and probably tastes better.

So you want to possibly have it already thawed out a bit before putting it in the pan, if not whatever, it will just take longer.

Throw the beef, I use about a half a pound, you can use more depending on how meaty you want it, in a pan and put it on about 6 (which is just a bit more than medium heat) and let it brown, meaning cook it, brown is the color the meat turns, hence, letting it brown..You can add a bit of seasoning to the meat now, I usually use a bit of garlic salt, and garlic powder, a pinch of salt and a few shakes of some regular pepper.



Now that the meat is brown, you can start adding stuff. Usually most people will say "OMG Y U NO DRAIN TEH MEATT? EW" I do not drain the meat at all because the grease is minimum, and it makes the sauce taste better, and it soaks into the noodles better. Anyway, go ahead and put the onions in first, onions make everything taste better and soak into the meat really well to give the meat a good taste.



Let that cook a bit before you do anything else, you want to onions to get nice and situated and friendly with the meat, kind of like your mom did with...I got nothing.

Now, you want to take these two cans,



Starting with the Italian diced first, pour it into your meat, no not down your pants, the meat you are cooking dumbass.



Next take the regular sauce and pour that in.



Then add those little black things some people hate..No not that, that is racist, shame on you. Olives, add olives to the sauce.



Next you add the peppers you cut earlier, just throw that crap in there.



Finally, you can add mushrooms, mushrooms are great in this sauce because it soaks up some of the extra grease, and basically sautes them so they dont taste like horrible fungi that grow in cow poop.



Now you are done, stir everything together, making sure the meat and all of the ingredients get fully saturated by the sauce, then cover it and let it sit, stirring once in a while, for about an hour. I usually let mine sit for an hour and a half and it usually tastes amazing.



Oh, if you dont know how to boil the noodles, here is how.

Take a pot.

Fill it with water.

Boil the water.

Wait till the water is boiling.

Dump spaghetti noodles in.

Let sit for a few minutes.

Stir to make sure all of them are cooked.

I let mine cook on high even AFTER the water is boiling, for about five or so minutes to make them al dente, some people like noodles differently, so test noodles to your liking, if they are stiff, they arent done, if they are bloated and runny, you overcooked them.

Drain the pasta in a pasta drainer.

I usually just put the noodles directly into the sauce and mix it all up, you can do it that way, or just serve the noodles then poor the sauce on top either way.

And that's how you make food.

Don't starve you nubs.

In closing.

Some Furbies.