Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, fans and non-fans.

Today I have the great honor of giving you this speech, as a result of the recent poetry battle.

See, only a few days ago, Waffle King put out a silly compilation of rhymes directed at myself, indicating that he was prepared to face my amazing skills in battle. Since I am so kind, I gladly accepted and responded.

It was obvious that I had won after the first round, but Waffle King, like a little child, felt cheated in defeat and started a new round. This continued round after round until the great finish happened:




Waffle King gave up.




See, somehow Waffle King got the idea that we were running for office or something and turned to a poll to decide who won. But this wasn't a popularity contest. My, that sounds familiar. Oh wait, I know why! Waffle King himself said that in his first reponse, and I quote:

"...this ain't a popularity contest."

Somewhere along the line, our dear Waffle King said this:

"You've lost already, why can't you just see?
The masses have spoken, they're pointing to me."


Folks, we have uncovered some vile maneuvers here. Waffle King is contradicting himself here. If that doesn't discredit Waffle King's false claims of victory, let's look into it further.

In an example similar to the one in my smashing victory poem, it's like a tennis game. In a match between two players, do they turn to the fans to decide who wins? Of course not. They play it out and keep returning the ball, and eventually someone wins.

But see, Waffle King failed to return the ball. In fact, he just straight up quit. I've certainly never seen a professional tennis match where someone decides to give up and still wins somehow.

This isn't a matter of opinion, but a matter of fact. Since Waffle King pulled out, BanMan wins by default.

So with that, I gladly accept this victory. Waffle King put up a good fight, so I would also like to congratulate him. But, as it was expected, BanMan himself won in the end.

And to keep the record clear, no, I did not downvote any of Waffle King's poems in our little engagement.

In conclusion, I give my thanks to all of the amazing fans that supported these poetry efforts of both sides.

Thank you, and good night.