Hello and welcome to a new blog series where I explain to you Americans across the pond (and of course Canadians, Australians and maybe even Aliens) what Britain is /really/ like, beyond Downton Abbey, recieved pronunciation and Hogwarts.

Today you ARE going to learn about Chavs. (No, you don't have a choice, because we hate you. Loljk)

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Chavs are retards who think that they're rebels and that their local McDonalds is a 5-star restaurant. (And over here, by HELL it ain't).

They can often be identified by their use of words such as "safe", "mint", "y'wot?", "quali'ee" and "innit" (the most prevalent and infamous of the lot).

For an idea as to what a chav typically looks like, picture a young boy, about 12 years of age and 4 ½ feet tall, with an attitude problem, donning a baseball cap at a right angle and a fake ADIDAS tracksuit.

In the interests of extending the reach of this blog to people who have tragically let their imagination waste away as they play games in which they burn and murder things, we have pictured one here.



Male chavs wear clothes and jewellery which come from a market, and may also have been smoking since the age of 11.

I am also informed that female chavs wear tight trousers which show their thongs when they sit down, and have blonde hair (often dyed) either straightened to hell or bunched up in a very tight bun in a style known as the "croydon facelift" (favoured by anorexic 'supermodels' such as Kate Moss whom these chavs presumably aspire to emulate). It is also not unlikely that they have lost their virginity by the age of 14.

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I hope you have found this blog somewhat entertaining, and maybe even slightly educational.
This blog describes stereotypical chavs - everybody is different, so of course your observations may vary.
I'm not hating on the chavs in the world - this blog is intended to be quite obviously humorous in nature.
I believe everyone should be treated equally and without prejudice, so please take this blog with a pinch of salt.

REVISION 2, 13 March 2016