So, a number of users have posted helpdesk questions, contacted myself and other admins, etc. asking about the 'you have 0 alerts' text in the 'Welcome, (username)!' box (the 'navbar'.
Don't get your tinsel in a tangle.
Alerts were a thing years back - I can't remember exactly when they got removed (ie. hidden away) but don't worry, they were used for distributing site-wide messages iirc.
Many of you will have also noticed changes in the layout of the site recently, such as the homepage now scaling to fit larger screens such as those of smartphones, tablets and PCs, among other subtle changes.
These are leading up to something quite cool - I don't feel like revealing much more about it right now, but stay tuned for more.