Okay Kiddos its getting close to the spooks day, ye gotta be safe. There is no exception, you must bubble wrap EVERYTHING. So I'll tell you how to totally 100% be safe forever and always on the spooks day. Or I mean, if you aren't doing cool things on the spooks day I guess if you have smol siblings or a child or something, you could use this to keep them safe?

Step 1: Wear all black clothing/costumes.
This is how you be both spooks, AND safe on the spooks day. You know they say "o don't wear dark clothes cause people can't see you!" No they are wrong. Their trying to make you less of a spooks. They want all the kiddos to have non spooks costumes. Don't listen to their propaganda. be a spooks.

Step 2: Don't use reflective strips.
They also say "Wear reflective strips so cars can see you" Nah nah, just stop being A LAZY DICK AND QUIT DRIVING YOUR KIDS IN CARS. Walk like everyone else. You aren't some special snowflake.

Step 3: Don't check your candy before eating it.
Its very unlikely you're gonna find drugs or razors in your candy, thats really just superstition. Unless you have like a creepy uncle or something? But nah, eat all the candy, even if it looks tampered with.

Step 4: Wear a mask that makes it nearly impossible to see.
This will make you even cooler with the kiddos and actually make you 110% more safe. Trust me I'm a cat.

Step 5: Go candy hunting in unknown places.
Its very safe to go spooks day candy getting in a neighborhood you don't live in. You will be even more safe, and no one will know you so if you decide to change your costume they won't know you're little billy.

Step 6: Play all the pranks.
You'll be fine and totally won't get in trouble.

Step 7: If you DO play pranks be Sanic.
I mean you COULD get caught so uh dress up like a sanic and go fast. They can't catch you then. Sanic is fast, so be the sanic.

And that is my guide to being totally and 100% safe on Halloween. Trust me, would I lie to you?

Note: Don't actually follow this. This is a joke, if you follow this and get hurt its your fault for listening to a cat.