So, I was browsing through old spirals I found, and I came across a really cringe-worthy story I wrote in elementary school. And wow, it was pretty bad.
So, for the entertainment of you guys, I thought I would write it down EXACTLY how it's written, so it might get crazy confusing, because I had no idea how to separate dialogue back then.
Haha, just keep in mind, I don't actually write like this.
Also, I'm going to have some of my commentary of what I thought of this chapter at the end, so stay tuned.
heeeere we GO!
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Magic Mind
Chapter 1: The Asepeon
Selena was a young teen the age of 14 who was a princess. She had emerald green eyes and fire red with dark blond highlights. She had two older brothers. Their names were Alex and Jade. Both of them were 17 years old.
One sunny summer day, Selena was outside sitting in the palace Garden. She was wearing bright pink shorts and a blue Sleeveless shirt. She let out a huge sigh and stared into space. She started to chew on her nails. Just because she was a princess it didn't mean she had to act like one. She was more of a tomboy. Selena stood up and just as she was about to go outside of the garden, her mom called "Time for dinner!" Selena walked toward the back exit. "What are we eating?" she asked, licking her lips. "Chicken." her mother replied.
* * * *
Selena crawled into bed and stared at the ceiling. She reached for her phone and held it up in her hand. The case started to turn an icy color. "Huh?" She said. She threw her phone on her bed and backed away. She looked at her hand. It was her left hand. Using it, she picked up a hair band and it turned icy. She forced her hand forwards and ice shot out of it and hit her wall. She looked at her right hand. "I wonder what this one can do." And with that, she forced her right hand forwards and fire shot out of it. "Whoa." She exlaimed.
Then, her brothers came knocking on the door. She fell on her bed forward. Then she noticed something. Her hand was camoflaging into her bed! "Come in!" She yelled, a hint of a giggle in her voice. Her brothers barged in her room. "Where is she?" Said Alex, looking around. Selena jumped up and grabbed Alex, He shouted and then screamed. "AHHHHHH!" He screamed. He turned around and saw Selena. "That was so not cool." He said.
"Yeah, but it was totally funny." Selena said with a slight smirk.
"Oh and watch this." She flicked her finger forward and ice came streaking out of it. Alex stared. "You're creepy." He laughed. Then he swung Selena's door open and walked out. Selena jumped back on her bed and got up to open her window. It was so big, you could stand on it. Then, Selena can up with an idea. She stepped onto the windowsill and jumped out of the window. She didn't fall to her suprise. She was flying!
"Whee!" She yelled, soaring through the sky. She flew past the palace and soared straight into the forest. She landed rough on the ground and skinned her knee "Ow!" she yelled, holding her knee to her chest. She stared at it for a while and tapped her knee. a ice bandage formed on her broken skin. She got up and stared around at the forest. From how the trees were really thick, she could tell that she was deep in the forest. "Hello?" she said as she heard a tree rustle. She looked up, and there, peeking out of the tree was a snout. It jumped out of the tree right in front of Selena. She backed away. "What are you?" she asked. The creature had a wolf head and body. It's tail was filled with red and black. It had reddish, yellow eyes. The creature looked up at Selena. "I am Abain, the Prince of Asepeons." He said in a mystical way. "So you're an Aspeon?" she asked, her body flat against a tree. "Yes, that would be correct." He said, taking a step towards her. "Are you trying to eat me?" She asked. "No way! I cannot eat a beautiful young lady!" He said with a chuckle. "Would you like to see my Kingdom?" Again asked. "Um sure, but its getting dark." Said Selena looking at the night sky. She sighed. "Okay then." She replied. "Okay." Abain turned his body to the right. He backed up an ran straight to the tree. "Watch out!" yelled Selena. But Abain went right through the tree. "I guess I better go too." She ran straight to that tree, and vanished into it. She felt like she was spinning around and around. She also felt sick. And with that, she fell out of the portal on her stomach. "Oof!" She said. She got up and looked around. She took in a gasp. The kingdom was beautiful. The trees were golden and had silver leafs. The whole castle was made of silver and gold. She touched a tree and it turned icey. "Enjoying the view?" Said Abain. "Yes! It's very beautiful!" She sighed. "I wish I could bring you to the palace." She said. She turned around to look at Abain."Huh?" She said. Abain had turned into the most cutest boy ever. He had blue eyes and brown hair that swooped in the wind. he also had freckles. He was wearing white Jeans and a fire tee shirt. "Whoa... that's amazing." She said. "You know, you could become princess. And live here". He gave Selena a charming smile. "I think I could." She replied. She tapped Abain on the head and a fire crown appeared. She ran her hands over her sleeveless shirt. The top became an inch lower and a fire desine appeared on it. A orange ribbon appeared around her waist and fire fringes made up the dress. She ran her fingers through her hair and she made a braid. Then she tapped her own head and another fire crown appeared. "Cool." said Abain. He took his crown off and Selena's. "But we have to get corinated. You can't show the powers. My royal subjects will freak." He finished. He took Selena's hands in his and fire gloves appeared. "These will help." He said, letting go of her hands.
"Your corination will be on Sauturday Today is sunday." He said. "Do you go to school?" asked Selena. "Yes, I do. I'm going to Alabingn Middle School." Replied Abain. "I go there too!" Exlaimed Selena. She smiled. "I guess I'll see you there!" Abain extcanged the smile.
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Okay, so there it is... pretty bad?
Alright, so, commentary. I thought it was kinda funny how I said both of her brothers came into her room, and I only mentioned Alex. And there were soooo many similarities to Frozen. With the ice powers and how she made a completely different outfit with her powers.
It also kind of sounded like she wanted to kill herself when she was going to jump out the window. "She didn't fall to her surprise."
It was kinda like she wanted to fall.
And then, how she trusted a random creature she met in the forest that turned out to be a cute boy who was a prince. Like, if I was her, I wouldn't do that... at all.
I didn't know how to use "a" and "an". Obviously, I wasn't aware that I spelled Saturday wrong.
"Sauturday"?
COME ONNN, REALLy?
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Anyways, let me know if I should write the next chapter.
By @redflarezZ
Finrod
oswaldo123
