This is the one and maybe only time I write one of these for a current movie. I'm going to actually try to keep it spoiler free, also I dont even remember the plot really. But I really don't know why, no matter how much of a masochist you might be, why you'd want to sit through this movie. It was so boring. Nothing happens. There's barely even any jumpscares!


I payed money to see this. I went to the movies today and my friend and I watched this. WE COULD HAVE SEEN PET SEMATARY DAMMIT. But no, we went and saw The Curse of La Llorona because we figured “Oh it'll be bad, but maybe it'll be entertainingly bad.”


It was not. It was boring. The spooooky ghost isn't even scary. She looks like a faces of Meth ad. They at least said Llorona right. Too bad the ads never could.


From what little I know of absolutely nothing, they got the legend right? Maybe? Possibly? Well other than some weird part where this crazy bitch is like “I PRAYED TO LA LLORONA THAT SHE WOULD TAKE Y O U R KIDS AND GIVE ME MINE BACK!” Like okay crazy b i t c h.


There's also child acting, but as far as I could it wasn't thaaaat bad? The children were written really unrealistically in my opinion, but they atleast weren't on the acting level of those little girls from He's Out There.


For some reason through the whole movie when La Llorona comes and fucks with these two little crotch goblins they never actually tell the mom? Like this crazy meth head ghost bitch in a wedding gown grabs your arm BURNS it and all you tell your mother is “Oh uh I fell.” What's even better is, the mom believes that.


I don't know about you, maybe I was just a dumb overly imaginative child, but I definitely would have been screaming to my mom that some Meth head ghost just grabbed me, whether she believed me or not. Or even better when the male child, whatever his name was finds meth head ghost demon in his sisters room and falls down the stairs he STILL doesn't tell the mom.


Like Tommy, you ain't imagining holy shit. This whole mess probably could have been avoided if everyone just communicated. But nein. This is a horror movie. No communication allowed.


Also there's a random shoehorned Annabelle reference in this movie. Does that mean its The Conjuring related now? Cause I know diddly squat about The Conjuring. But yea. Thats just kinda there.


Towards the end of the movie the children do even more dumb shit.


So because now everyone is finally on the same page about Meth head ghost demon woman, they have some guy, I don't know his name and I don't care, helping them to get the bitch outta their house.


So they basically trap the demon outside by essentially putting a line of salt across the front door entrance. It wasn't actually salt, it was some type of seeds. But basically the same deal.


But the movie makes it completely pointless because not two seconds later little Sally fuckin comes up and scuffs the line trying to drag her doll back inside.


Later on the “I prayed to La Llorona” bitch comes back and shoots a man to help the demon take whatever the moms name was's kids.


Only to then a few minutes later do a complete 180 and start helping the mom not lose her children to a meth head with a thing for drowning kids. Which was really dumb. She was so down for this she SHOT SOMEONE. If I was dedicated enough to helping a meth head demon drown some kids, that I shot somebody, I definitely wouldn't be having a change of heart once the demon is free to do its thing and murder the little gremlins!


But whatever gotta have a happy ending I guess. God forbid everyone dies, can't have that.


I hated like all the characters in the movie. The children really didn't have a personality other than “Hi, I'm a raging dumbass!”, the mom was boring too, I kind of liked the crazy bitch other than when she actually became a decent person, and the guy who got shot was cool. I liked him best.


For the love of all that is holy don't waste money to see this movie. It's not worth it. Even if you go at a time when you could get cheaper tickets. If you just desperately want to watch this movie, I don't know just pirate it?


I mean u h, pirating is bad and I do not condone it. No sir.


This movie really even isn't worth watching to make fun of with friends, there's so much nothing happening you'll probably just sit there bored. Half the movie my friend and I were complaining to each other quitely about people using their phones during a movie.


There's not even jumpscares to get spooked by. There are n o n e. None of them are actually scary. They're super obvious, or the scare is negated by this god damn meth head looking ghost screaming at you so you just start laughing.