Now I understand why they call them "flashbacks".

They flash before your eyes and leave you instantaneously blinded.

I am barely able to open my eyes before the next memory flies by.

Leaving me crying at three in the morning,

Because there is nothing I can do.

I could try to clear my mind,

But the bad memories have left my head too full to possibly clear everything.

I am alone with myself,

My thoughts,

And my demons.

You'd think that the tears would blur the images

But they don't.

Images of my trauma flitter around in the cage of my brain.

All the violence,

All those sleepless nights,

Those ambulance rides,

I am forced to experience them over and over,

When I should have moved on a long time ago.

I'm too reckless to count the amount of blue pills I am swallowing.

For a moment I am okay.

I can finally get some rest.

Even though I am aware that in less than 24 hours,

I will have to do the whole thing over again.

Flashbacks.

those flashbacks come back to get me every time...