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The Sword, Chapter 1, by aidansocool
By
@Draconid_Jo
POSTED: 17 Sep 2019 17:34
CATEGORY: Miscellaneous
(
Go to comments
)
I woke up.
It was a School Day, and I ran in the Car.
Mom said "Do you have your stuff?"
"Yes, Mom." I said.
It was 4:30 PM, and I ran over to my Friends.
We sometimes have Sleepovers, or we play Minecraft.
At 5:30 PM, I went to my den, and there was a tunnel I had never seen before.
I went in it, and I found a Sword made of Gold.
"I'M RICH!" I shouted.
I was Happy, and showed my Mom and Dad.
They took the Sword, and wrapped it in cloth.
Mom said to me "Aidan, my Dear, where did you find this?"
"It was in my den." I replied.
My Dad was very happy, and he said he was going to phone the Museum, but he said that he'd do it later.
But then, I started to hold it, and my hands wouldn't let go of it, and then it made a Portal!
I was VERY scared.
"MOM! DAD!" I screamed.
No reply.
Then, I screamed again, and there was still no reply.
Then, I was suddenly gone from Planet Earth.
"Hello!" said a man.
"Welcome to Planet Mars!"
"I need Water." I said.
"What's "Water"?" said the man.
"You drink it." I explained.
"Never heard of it." he replied.
"What do you drink, then?" I asked.
"I drink Milk." he answered.
"Where do you get the Milk from?" I inquired.
"I get it from Dragons." he told me.
"What's your name?" I asked.
"Jack." he replied.
"Can I ride a Dragon?" I asked.
"Sure!" said Jack.
So I did, but it was hard, and I kept crashing into stuff, and fell off of my Dragon.
"Hello!" said the Dragon.
(Dragons can speak Dragon Language.)
"Hello." I replied.
The Dragon said "Hop on my back and try it again."
I hopped on the Dragon's back again, and it started flying so high that I felt sick.
But then I tried to stand up on the Dragon, and I fell.
BANG!!!
"HELP!" I shouted, but nobody had answered, and I had broken my leg.
"Maybe the Dragon can help?" I said to myself.
"HELP!" I shouted again,
"Oh, OK." said the Dragon.
The Dragon then picked me up, and took me back to Jack.
"Are you OK?" asked Jack.
"I broke my leg." I told him.
"Don't worry, it'll heal in no time." said Jack.
"What do you mean?" I asked him.
"Our Dragons have Healing Powers." he explained.
"WOW!"
"Does the Dragon have a name?" I then asked.
"Yep, they're Rex, Molly, and Milly." Jack told me.
"Rex, come here now!" shouted Jack.
+2 -0
Comments
aidansocool
18 Sep 2019 19:51
u can get this accepted
Draconid_Jo
18 Sep 2019 20:08
In reply to aidansocool
I doubt it.
Like Banjo said when you tried, it's too fast paced, and you don't go into enough detail.
You should probably try to rewrite this, and follow his advice.
aidansocool
17 Sep 2019 19:17
thanks
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