"CONDEMNED"

*** From the Album: "Electric Symphonies" ***

[VERSE: 1]


Sometimes I feel like I'm dead inside,
With no drug to take that can turn the tide,
No friends I have that won't leave my side,
The neighborhood I was built beside,
I'm detached,

They don't know how to react to me,
I've lost them all,
And they watched as they let me fall,
They all stand about twenty feet tall,
While I just feel increasingly small,


[PRE-CHORUS: 1]


I wish I could run,
I wish I could hide,
But, alas, I'm anchored,
To the ground beneath me,
On the foundation in which I've built my home,


[CHORUS: 1]


A full night's sleep and still no relief,
I try to ignore it but still I believe,
No matter what I do,
No matter what I say,
My happiness,
It's color has gone and faded to black,

It smothers me and it feels like I can't breathe,
I begged it to stop but it still won't leave,
It boards me up,
And it tears me down,
My life is done,
As if I were condemned,


[VERSE: 2]


Will there be light at the end of the tunnel,
Maybe there is not,
These feelings I've wrought,
They gave me a thought,
But I pushed it away,
No chance can I allow myself to think that way,

I must be strong,
I need to believe that I can carry on,
I might be a shell of my former self,
But an old house like me can still dream,
For a new beginning,
And a high self-esteem,


[PRE-CHORUS: 2]


The musty air,
My interior that is bare,
Having far too much time to spare,
It all brings feelings of despair,
As well as this frown that I tend to wear,


[CHORUS: 2]


A full night's sleep and still no relief,
I try to ignore it but still I believe,
No matter what I do,
No matter what I say,
My happiness,
It's color has gone and faded to black,

It smothers me and it feels like I can't breathe,
I begged it to stop but it still won't leave,
It boards me up,
And it tears me down,
My life is done,
As if I were condemned,


[BRIDGE: 1]


Yeah, my walls may be broken,
But they are also recycled,
And I'll be used again,
By another friend,
Until the very end,


[CHORUS: 3]


A full night's sleep and still no relief,
I try to ignore it but still I believe,
No matter what I do,
No matter what I say,
My happiness,
It's color has gone and faded to black,

It smothers me and it feels like I can't breathe,
I begged it to stop but it still won't leave,
It boards me up,
And it tears me down,
My life is done,
As if I were condemned,

As if I were condemned,


[SPOKEN OUTRO]


If I don't lose hope,
Then maybe I won't choke,
Or vanish in a cloud of smoke.

Explanation: Surprise! A new blog!

However, the song itself is NOT new and it is actually the very first song I have ever written. Now, I believe I had posted this here seven years ago when I had just written it, but quickly became embarrassed by it and deleted it everywhere I had it posted because it was too long to be a proper song, despite praise from my therapist when I had shown it to her. I also thought it was a bit too emo and pretentious, even though I was definitely BOTH of those things at the time I was writing this. ^^;

A few hours ago, however, I found it on Facebook and decided I would post it here once and for all.

This was how I was feeling when I was 16 years old, and to a point, I’ve been feeling this way again now.

Hope everyone is staying safe and is doing well!

THANKS FOR READING!!