Part 1
>be me
>out of shirts
>decide to hit the mall like a functioning adult
>walk into store
>there’s no shirts
>no pants
>just soup
>literal f**king soup
>look up
>“SOUP” in giant block letters
>brain.exe has stopped working
>walk up to employee
>“why are you selling soup in a clothing store?”
>he just says “sir this is a soup store”
>rage builds
>I am shirtless, confused, and now surrounded by bisque
>yell “I NEED CLOTHES, NOT SOUP”
>lady with ladle gives me the side eye
>some kid knocks over a shelf of chowder
>I slip and fall into minestrone
>security escorts me out covered in soup like some kind of war crime
>still no shirt
>mfw I have soup
>but no shirt
Part 2
>be me
>live off deep dish and misplaced confidence
>walk into local arcade/bar
>see this trans girl absolutely demolishing fools at DDR
>she’s got eyeliner sharper than my jawline
>instantly intimidated
>decide to flex
>challenge her to a dance battle
>lose in under 30 seconds
>sweating like a hot dog at a baseball game
>she laughs, says “good try, champ”
>heart.exe crashes
>buy her a drink to recover dignity
>she orders something with glitter in it
>I get a PBR like a coward
>we talk
>she calls me “Chi guy”
>says it like it’s a species
>end up walking her home
>she thanks me
>I awkwardly say “you too” like a dumbass
>realize I might be falling
>not in a gay way
>okay maybe a little
>mfw she texts me later
>mfw she says she had fun
>mfw I might actually like soup store-level chaos in my life
By @FoxiiFoxii
