My trans thoughts By Louis

By @Louis
POSTED: 15 Jul 2023 08:52
CATEGORY: Educational
FEATURED: Yes (@Draconid_Jo)
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I think a lot, and about a ton of different things, and all this time i have to just think makes me understand myself more and allows me to dive deeper into my feelings, and some of those feelings is being trans. But unlike other feelings, this one doesn't go away, as much as i wish it would. In these current times we're living in, it is certainly not fun being a trans teen, but it could be worse I guess. I just wish my rights to be happy and human wouldn't be debated, like how it's being now. "Transism" doesn't exist. Being trans is not an ideology, and if it is how can i stop believing it? I've wished so hard that i could just, be normal. Just live like a normal kid and not have to worry about my gender, but i do and i wouldnt have too if everyone just accepted me as who i said i was. But, they don't. Not even my own parents see me as who i am, it feels like they only see me how they want to see me, which isnt me. I miss when it felt like my parents loved me, and not the empty shell they want to be me. I subconciously blame myself for being trans and ruining the great life i had. I hadnt even realised i blamed myself until recently. as much as i tell myself that it isnt my fault, it just doesnt work. The one thing i want someone to tell me is that it's not my fault, that it never was my fault. Aargh it definitely doesnt help that i have adhd which deepens the fear of rejection, which makes me afraid of being denied help if i ask, which makes it harder to ask for things related to being trans. sorry for being so depressing lol, but i honestly just want someone to talk to and ive been wrestling with these feelings for a while. I wouldn't mind if you asked appropriate questions in the comments.

+11 -0

Treeadore
28 Nov 2023 10:21

I support you in being trans! I have not met you. I have not read your biography on your profile. I just came across this blog and it brang tears to my eyes. It destroyed me that you think being yourself ruined your life. In that logic, every single person on the intire planet (exept actors) have ruined lives. There are many trasphobic peaple out there and if you meet one say, "get a life" and punch them. I am so sorry you feel that your perents do not exept you, Really the best thing to do there is tell them how you feel. I have a trans freind who was super mega scared about coming-out to his perents but in the end they where super supportive of him! I myself am cis but gay, I still have not come out to my perents about that yet but i am sure they will figure it out sometime soon. I also have a freind who is "suffering" from ADHD, And my mum has ADHD and i have (apparently) showed effects of having ADHD. I really and truely support you with all my tiny heart! If yoi feel like you need someone to talk to then i would contact the KidsHelpline website and have a small webchat. (BTW dispite there name they dont jusy help kids they are 5 to 25.) You could also contact lifeline but i think that K.H.L is much more freindly. And again, I am really sorry you feel the way your feeling. Just be yourself and live the life that you can have.

(also the emojis on this website look sp angry for some reason?)

Leechroy
31 Aug 2023 04:35

I honest just found this website and your blog inspired me to make an account. I just want to clarify that its not your fault, god its never any trans teens fault. I'm a trans teen myself (ftm), I'm half way through high school. I know the feeling of constant self hatred all because I wanted to be myself.

The fear of rejection is something everyone goes through, and it doesn't help that people (mostly cis white men) want to eradicate us. I just hope you know it was never your fault. Being trans is hard, its not a walk in the park, and its okay to feel this way dude, especially when dealing with adhd and the feeling of depression.

Lots of people understand us to some extent. Hell, I have adhd and dyslexia. The world is changing too fast for conservative politics and liberals, so they hate us for how we learned to love and be ourselves. So remember, you are NEVER ruining your life by being comfortable and safe in your own identity.

It's normal to feel this way. It's just sad when trans kids think otherwise. But it's understandable, especially when you bring transphobia and race into play. I just hope you're doing okay dude. stay safe, and remember there's people who love ya.

Louis
24 Oct 2023 02:05
In reply to Leechroy

Holy shit thank you so much for this

I actually may have depression and my self hatred got a little worse lately and it definitely doesn't help when everywhere I go I see some sort of hatred against people like us.. but we just gotta stick together and stay strong

if you have any socials like discord or Instagram id really like to chat with you more if you ever see this :]

Leechroy
12 Jan 2024 16:06
In reply to Louis

My discord is, snartsnax
Sorry it took so long to respond back!

Louis
13 Jan 2024 17:26
In reply to Leechroy

Mine is shlugbug :] I sent the request already, so if you see one under that username you know it's me

Leechroy
09 Jan 2024 02:21
In reply to Louis

I actually do! (Sorry i've responsed so late, I had a bunch of tests, midterms and regents are coming up, and lots of other stuff) I can send you my discord, I forgot my username so I'll probably send it by tomorrow or in a few hours if you're still interested! It would be nice to have a friend to talk to!

Louis
26 Jul 2023 06:29

thanks for all of the support guys :]

Treeadore
28 Nov 2023 10:29
In reply to Louis

This artwork is so cool! do you make it? if so, what on?

Louis
28 Nov 2023 13:41
In reply to Treeadore

I didn't make this art, but I do have an art dump blog you can check out if you wanna see my real art

some of my art on there is made with the 3ds, while most of the other stuff is drawn with my phone

Draconid_Jo
27 Jul 2023 09:24
In reply to Louis

YW.

spideer
19 Jul 2023 15:20

Hey. This is very relatable. Good blog.

Louis
19 Jul 2023 06:48

Come be a corn, just ask on my Profile if u want 2 b one

i123456
19 Jul 2023 06:46

Ill say, I'm here to talk if you want, I'm good with feelings because its never been an issue to me.

Louis
18 Jul 2023 07:06

Dont worry guys, I'm actually just a silly little guy irl

I literally only have 2 sides fr tho

its either I'm suffering from major brain rot and my adhd is at its peak, or i'm just sad

Wesley388
16 Jul 2023 04:46

Sorry if I might hurt your feelings, I never want to.

Thi500
15 Jul 2023 23:35

you have nothing to apologize for. none of it is your fault.

you are alive, you are breathing, you are a person and you matter. being trans is not a burden. its your identity, and that matters.

having the strength to accept yourself will push you forward even more.

i know this country sucks, and i know there are a lot of people that hate you for your identity. you will not find those people here. you are safe with everyone here

have pride in yourself, friend. its a gift

Vinnycenzo60
23 Jul 2023 23:45
In reply to Thi500

that is one of the most thoughtful comments ive ever seen

anelikk_aaron
15 Jul 2023 13:22

im actually trans as well and I can relate to how youre feeling about yourself. trans people are people too just like everyone else. your gender, sexuality, etc. doesnt define if youre a person or not because you always will be. being trans is hard yes especially with this hate from other people. and dont get me started on the gender dysphoria. you just wake up and wish being the opposite gender. seeing yourself in the mirror and seeing that youre not the gender you want to be hurts. i know i cry hella lot. some people will never see you as the person you are and want to be. but others will recognize you as you. the person you are and want to be. being trans isnt nobodys fault and its not yours either. keep your head up and take care broski :]
(SORRY THIS IS SO LONG-)

Louis
16 Jul 2023 06:33
In reply to anelikk_aaron

ahh ty ^^ I will admit i also have had my fair share of tears related to my gender, but something that keeps me from gettin' too sad is the hope that, one day, I'll transition. These first few years of my life that I'm living in sadness wont even compare to the happiness I'll feel for the rest of my life in a body that im comfortable in. so idk just something that i keep in mind when im feeling down :]

Draconid_Jo
15 Jul 2023 09:35

I'm actually working on a trans rights blog (which was supposed to have been submitted during Pride Month) myself, and while I am not trans myself, I have a number of trans friends here on Paint, so I have somewhat of an idea what you're going through.

Put simply, it isn't your fault, and there's obviously absolutely nothing wrong with you.

God made you who you are for a reason, and while others may not understand it, they should simply accept it, rather than passing judgement on it.
(Why don't us cisgender people constantly get blamed for being who we are?)

Louis
15 Jul 2023 09:43
In reply to Draconid_Jo

ahh thanks for making paint a safe space

but also, thank you for trying to learn about things you dont understand instead of hating them, wish more people could do that. wish you luck on your blog :thumbs_up:

Draconid_Jo
16 Jul 2023 07:19
In reply to Louis

YW.

And you're absolutely right, and I wish that more people (especially more of my fellow Christians) would try to do that.
(God is love after all, and hatred is the opposite of love, and is therefore the opposite of God.)

Louis
15 Jul 2023 09:34

just a friendly reminder that trans people are people too and that we also have feelings just like everyone else

royal-rawr
15 Jul 2023 12:37
In reply to Louis

100%

Hi, I'm Calem, an FTM trans person. Out to paint and school, but not my mother.

I've been sure with this for over two years, but it's stressful, trying to understand, dealing with my mom talking about this idea of trans people, how it's basically a cult, and they're dragging susceptible children into it.

Treeadore
28 Nov 2023 10:26
In reply to royal-rawr

Do you have purple dyed heir irl cos i think i know you... I have a FTM Trans freind whos name is callum. wondering if you are using a diffrent name for lols.

royal-rawr
28 Nov 2023 13:19
In reply to Treeadore

Yep, this is my real name, not my deadname

My trans thoughts

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