Portrait of Autism

My head doesn't work like yours
What for you is black and white
Can be for me very grey
Sometimes I may not grasp right and wrong
I may not listen to yes or no 
But it's not that I am horrible, evil 
I just don't understand.

My body doesn't work like yours
Sometimes I just can't sit still
I have to move and run and jump
And sometimes I can stay unmoving
For hours, staring into space
Or rocking back and forth
It's a coping mechanism, a comfort

My emotions don't work like yours
I can be happy one minute
Then miserable the next 
I analyse things too much
And replay words of pain
If I lean on you, don't push me away
I need the comfort the contact brings

My childhood doesn't work like yours 
I am a child, yet not one
I don't know what to do with myself
And that upsets me terribly
I have to have my boundaries
Having the responsibility of setting them myself 
Is too much – I need you to help me grow every day 

My adulthood won't be like yours
I'll always be different to the rest
It's not hopeless – I can be happy being me
But I'll never be the same
The key will be to find my niche
And I can live comfortably in there 
The rest of my life

None of me works like you
But I do not deserve ridicule
I have a disorder that makes me different
And I have to struggle every day
Taunts won't make me cry -I've heard them all before
But it shows me the narrow mindedness of others
Too bad, I'm a great person to know

My emotions don't work like yours
If I despise you, I'll find it hard to look at you or speak to you
If I love you, I'll find it hard to say goodbye first
If you betray me, I'll forget you 
I can be ruthless when it comes to being hurt 
I am quick to trust and love 
And loyal and devoted to the end.