[This is a bit dark. Don't read if you don't like that sort of thing]

"When there's no more room in hell, the dead will walk the Earth"

Frank looked up from his television screen. Chuck and Nick were slack jawed and their eyes glazed over. It was time for Zombie Movie #8 in the marathon. Chuck looked over at Frank and started drooling. The click of a beer can melding with the sounds of flesh being eaten onscreen.

"So what's the plot of this one?" asked Chuck.

"A group of desperate survivors with complementary skills whole up in an enclosed area and attempt to survive the Zombie horde. A couple people will die and then they'll make a mad dash for the nearest boat or the military will roll through." Frank explained.

An odd feeling of Deja vu flooded the room. They weren't sure why.

"Well whatever," Nick interjected, snapping out of his stupor "My record is 15 movies in a row, and we're never going to beat it at this rate."

"Hey Frank, it's officially the 21st of December. Isn't the whole Mayan apocalypse shenanigans supposed to happen now?" Chuck asked worriedly.

"Don't worry about it. We have our Zombie plan, don't we?" Frank said jokingly. He looked over near the McDonalds across the road. A man obscured by a bush was back peddling away from something. Frank squinted when a blur came out of the bushes and blood squirted from the mans chest. The man fell over screaming.

Frank went white. Chuck heard the screaming and assumed the worst as a sudden rasping on the door drew all their attention. "Ughhhhh...." the thing outside the door said. Nick slowly approached the door, clutching his switch blade. The fire axe was in the next room, Nick knew, and he slowly and steadily stealthed his way to-

BLAM!!!

Pieces of the door flew in every direction. The smoke from the Remmington 700 filled the room. Old Man Hershel, who was directly outside the door, fell over. Chuck stood up cocking the shotgun for the next assailant. Nick went over to examine the body, but was blocked by Chuck.

"I hit him in the chest," Chuck said, "It's a trick. Grab an axe."

Nick grabbed the fire axe, and Frank brought out his baseball bat with nails in it, as Chuck finished the job he started. Nick knocked on the door to the next room. Maybe there they could hole up and eat from the fridge until the military came. Frank opened the door quietly and walked through. Through darkness, they saw the silouette of Zoey from next door. She was standing over the body of her boyfriend.

"He..." She said, "He was trying to eat me."

"It's okay, Zoey, everything will be okay," Nick said, " We'll protect you."

There were chewing sounds outside the door. Frank brought Zoey close. Chuck brought the sights of his gun to his nose, and Nick braced for the worst.

The door creaked open, and in stumbled a horrible creature eating, devouring.

"Leave us alooooooooooooooooone!" Chuck screamed, as he let another lethal round of buckshot fly. The pizza man stumbled over and dropped his possession. The lights flicked on as Lee stepped in.

"What the HELL? You shot the freakin' Pizza guy!" Lee went over to the corpse and examined the body. The pellets were a lethal shot to the chest.

"Man, your sorry arse better have 20 bucks, that was a large-" Lee started.

"Are you one of them?" Chuck asked steadily, as he lowered his gun.

"One of who?"

"The Zombies!"

"Zombies? Where?"

"The pizza guy! and Hershel!"

"They ain't no zombies. I'm pretty sure this was a new experience for them. Man, the cheese fell off and everything..." Lee said as he examined the pizza closer.

"But the man outside..."

"You mean Sullivan? Yeah, I jumped out from behind the bush and sprayed ketchup all over him! Did you see it go everywhere?" Lee laughed.

"Oh," said Frank, "Hey Chuck easy on that trigger, eh? Wait for a real apocalypse next time."

"Actually, that explains why my boyfriend was more focused on eating my peanut-butter sandwich than my flesh!" Zoey added.

"So.... what now?" Nick asked.

"Dawn of the Dead is on. Wanna watch, Lee?" inquired Frank.

"mkay." Lee answered

"Where's the remote?"

"Someone wring out the cheesey bread so we can eat it."

So the boys learned not to act to quickly on their decision. They reflected that maybe the zombie apocalypse wouldn't be as fun as it is on TV. And they thought, maybe there are more real threats than zombies we should be focusing on protecting ourselves from; like crazed teenagers who assumed some calender ending was signaling the turning of the dead. And after the 15 years they spent in the penetentiary on 2 counts of murder, they all lived happily ever after.

The end.