Did you know that your pants Have a zipper? Well buckaroo, they do. No more worrying about your fly being open. No, we don't care that you're wearing zebra print underduds big whoop, pal.

With new and improved carbon fiber zippers, us here at Ziptech ensure that our zippers can stop a bullet (if by chance its a pellet from a bb gun). We hope that our new tech will keep your pants high and dry. Yes sirry, we have a new line of zippers of all kinds.

Dont want that heavy carbon fiber? Hate pinching unmentionables in the zipper? Dont worry! We got rubber zippers. Now all you have to worry about is that new middle school game where they'll stretch your zipper and let go. Lucky for you, we have another safety precaution.

Introducing the wooden zipper! Stranded? Need a boat? Wood floats! Just take off your pants and toss them in the river. Ziptech takes no responsibility for loss or damage of $50 pants.

So if you need a zipper capable of any preference, call us at 1-800-NOPE. Ziptech is not responsible for any loss of hearing, death, super diarrhea, or spontaneous combustion. Order now!