Weirdest/Funniest fortune you got from a fortune cookie!

This BB is for the weirdest, funniest, or any notable fortunes you got from fortune cookies.
Mine is in my signature:
Ask not what your fortune cookie can do for you, but what you can do for your fortune cookie.

Ow! Ow! Ow!!! Watch where you're goin'! You just hit Maple, the Great Witch Syrup's apprentice!

"Help! I am being help prisoner in a Chinese bakery!!!!" I rofl'd

I'm not saying you're fat... but if i had to choose the 5 fattest people i know, you'd be 3 of them.

Also got one that said "You are not illiterate" xD

I'm not saying you're fat... but if i had to choose the 5 fattest people i know, you'd be 3 of them.

"Warning: Do not eat this fortune." lol wut? e-o I think it may have said "don't eat this fortune cookie" but that was a while ago, ð-ð

If you say you can, or say you cannot, you are right.

"Buy the red car." I was like, eh?

It's half full.

"Look to your right."
>A swordfish with a moustache.

On Paint's Discord. Still watching the site at least once a week. Go bother another admin or speak to me on Discord.

youve just bine punk`t

WEN YOU NEED A SHOLDER TO CRY ON ILL ALWAYS BE THERE

I grabbed one before and two fortunes popped out, one of them stated,"You will recieve an unexpected surprise."

You often memorize/remember inetresting or inspiring things...
"Dreams"
Hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die, life is a broken-winged bird that cannot fly. Hold fast to dreams, for when dreams go, life is a barren field, frozen with snow.
-Langston Hughes
I memorized/remembered that because it's intresting/inspiring.

Ow! Ow! Ow!!! Watch where you're goin'! You just hit Maple, the Great Witch Syrup's apprentice!

TIME TO REORDER: Please contact us at 1800 *** ####

it really did say that.

I'll be back every now and then

And the *s were put in by me. wasnt an auto censor or a bypass.

I'll be back every now and then