Hello, everyone. Hm huh hm hmmmhmm huh hmhmhm huh. Ah blah bo dee doo bada dah bah dumpa dee. Wugga wugga wugga. And now for the blog.

Can they even read?

For decades a certain furry species has frequently violated the doorstep and front yard of countless homes, particularly around Hollywood, leaving behind heaping putrid piles of "stuff" for others to find and revile at.

These hairy creatures often bother neighbors along with the general public through their excessive yapping due to their alert nature. They commonly have ungroomed hair and particularly large beards and eyebrows. Many have their back shaved despite keeping their leg hairs long and curly. They're also typically of above average intelligence when compared to most dogs.

I'm speaking, of course, about the writers and producers of low quality television and movies. Although I understand completely if you thought I meant Schnauzers. They have many similar qualities such as:

- The ability to herd groups of mindless animals. Schnauzers herd sheep, and producers herd the simple people who sincerely want to see Beverley Hills Chihuahua 4.

- Physical appearance.

[The producers of several hit shows on Disney]

- They both have a useful, though subhuman, level of intelligence.

It's unfortunate that with all the similarities they share with those lovable dogs, these writers and producers are still scum as human beings. The shows and movies they constantly crap out combined with their inability to understand and process human thought and emotion make for a terrible blight on society. Their widespread influence is a detriment to the public and lowers the value of the entertainment industry as a whole.

Fortunately, there is a solution. I believe we may be able to train them in the very same ways we train the dogs they so strongly resemble.

When producers act up and get terrible ideas for movies we can just spray them with a hose. Say "Bad producer! Bad", and don't be afraid to crack them across the face with a newspaper review of their work either. You have to rub critique of their "business" in their nose so they know what they've done. I suggest we even make a special whistle only they can hear which we blow every time bad writers try going to Fox or MTV to pitch another god-awful show.

With proper training, I'm sure they can manage to eventually clean up their act and hopefully become a part of the family of entertainment.

Thanks for reading.