When choosing a computer there are many things to consider. There are a lot of choices out there and it can be quite daunting your first time, so here I'd like to tell you all a few things to help you through it all. Let's get started.

Making the decision to buy a computer

Most people have a good reason to buy a computer. They're all but essential for school and work now, social networking is huge draw as well as quick and easily accessible media and entertainment, and then there's the allure of watching inappropriate videos all day. (For example, people watch a lot of How-To videos on subjects they'll never deal with. Shouldn't they watch things more appropriate to their life styles?)

Once you've been drawn in by any reason listed, or have been pressured by loose acquaintances into buying a computer, you should move onto the next step.

Things to Consider

When you make the decision to buy a computer, you should keep in mind what it is you'll require of your computer and how much you can spend. There is no all around "best" computer out there, and new ones will constantly be coming out. All you need to worry about is your personal needs.

What do you plan to use your computer for? What are your priorities? What programs will you be using? What other reasonable sounding things can I list here given that I personally don't know a damned thing about computers? You need to consider all of these things.

I understand there are many people who build their own computers, but as I've been told it's nothing like assembling a Lego set, I cannot help you with that. I think it might be cheaper?

It's only once you've figured out exactly what is that you want that you should purchase your computer.

Setting Up Your Computer

You need to be careful when setting up your computer, and, because I have no experience with this myself, I think the people who work at the store are excellent at this. So get them to do it for you, and you'll be all set. You can enjoy your new computer and finish with this blog here.

If they won't help you, then this isn't going to go well for you, and I apologize ahead of time. I'm so sorry... I really am.

Your Computer Hates You

When you can't set up your computer, you should assume it's because the computer hates you. If by some miracle you manage to set it up, your computer will still hate you because something weird will happen and you won't know what to do. Some message you don't understand will pop up or the screen will go all black but the lights indicating the computer is on won't turn off. All you can do is check 50 times if all the wires are connected right and maybe unplug the computer for 10 seconds to see if that does anything. It might work, but the same problem will come up again and that trick won't work again because your computer hates you.

Pretending to Listen and Understand

When you go to a friend who knows about computers and ask for help, they'll go off into some long winded speech about hardrives, antivirus stuff, sacrificing Rams or something, and defragging, which I think sounds like a euphemism for something dirty.

You'll try to listen during the first few seconds of them sounding human, but after that you'll only be able to catch a few phrases here and there, but you won't understand what any of it means. That's okay. Just smile and pretend to know what they mean.

"Oh, yes, that's a good idea."
"Yes, bytes, uhuh"
"I don't think mine has pixels and C3POs"

You might feel like they suspect you're totally full of crap when you say you get it and reassure them over and over that there's nothing to worry about. That's normal, and it's because they probably do suspect as much. Just get out of there as fast as possible while feeling like you've retained some shred of dignity.

Stop Talking to That Friend

You won't want to see that friend ever again just in case they ask about your computer again. It seems a bit excessive, but would you rather get embarrassed by having your ignorance exposed?

I find it's easier if you phase them out a little at a time by saying you want to keep celebrations and nights out small by only inviting your family and closest friends. They won't say anything because they don't want to seem like they were expecting an invite but ended up being snubbed.

Pretending You Have a Computer

Now that you've done all that and have properly disposed of your computer in the closet, there's still the matter of getting made fun of for not knowing anything that's going on with your friends online. I suggest avoiding any sort of internet talk altogether, but that isn't always an option. Relax, because all you have to do is keep lying. If someone catches your lie, then find a distraction. And if that doesn't work... well... I guess you could run out of the room?

Suck It Up, Be Mature, and Just Take the Time to Learn About Computers


..... I'm not this far yet.


......


Thanks for reading.